New Weapons Detection Systems - ID# 172
Deerfield
News Package
Entry Description
School district officials decided to install weapons detection systems in the high schools due to recent security threats and even violent and deadly acts that occurred within the community. Ruby Levy reports on the installation of these devices at Deerfield High School.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/25 9:39 pm - Reporter - consider holding the microphone with one hand. Some nice broll and natural audio. There are a couple of times were there is no audio over broll and then the interview audio fades in. Solid, important information provided to your audience by the principal and superintendent. The reporter only speaks two sentences throughout. The first sentence setup and then the sign off at the end. Was a reporter necessary for this piece? Could it have been a natty pack? Or could the reporter have played more of a role in the package? My suggestion would be to utilize the reporter more to facilitate the story.
- 4/1 1:35 pm - Interesting story. Good interviews. Well shot. Try not to hold your mic with two hands in the standup This does feel more like a NAT sot piece instead of a traditional package
Judge 1
Positives: The people you interviewed were serious on a serious topic, so good job covering parts of the sots with video to help pick up the pace. There wasn't a lot of broll to get here, so good job trying to get as much as you could.
Improvements: Don't include nats that don't make sense. The nat pop from 07-09 didn't add anything or make sense in the story. It's ok to start on a soundbite. Your interviews are framed too wide. There is nothing interesting to show behind them. It's ok to just do a close up shot. This is too long. Shorten up the sots and ditch all the random nat pops that you don't need. While the topic is important, you want to keep the audience and engaged.
Judge 2
Positives: -I liked the use of natural sound to transition in between shots. -Good use of sequencing video to show different angles of video. It helps move the pace of the piece
Improvements: -I would've liked to hear a reporter narration to drive the piece. We saw the reporter at the beginning of the piece, but did not hear her voice throughout the package. -It would've been great to see students walking through the weapon detection system and get some interviews with students to get their perspective about the new devices.
Judge 3
Positives: - I think you did a nice job of taking an obviously sensitive and emotional topic and turning it into an informative story. It was interesting to hear how long the district was looking into this, and why they wanted to be somewhat slow in rolling it out. - I liked the b-roll you had of the system and think it really adds to the story. Obviously, the signs are one thing, but to see the system by the doors helps the viewer understand what's going on.
Improvements: - The story is lacking a healthy balance of reporter track with soundbites. By relying too heavily on soundbites, you sacrifice your ability to concisely and accurately tell your viewer what is happening. Some of the soundbites you used are objective points of fact from the administrators. These can be shortened and paraphrased as part of your reporter track. - I know video and audio were likely challenging here, but if possible, you need to see this system in action. Use quick natural sound pops of the system beeping if something happens. I just felt it wasn't very visually appealing.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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