It's Occupied - ID# 415
Highland Park
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
An action film star rushes away from the action to use the restroom, but it's occupied.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/25 2:12 pm - Great simple and very relatable concept. The editing is really precise with the pacing and creating the tension. My only note is that the lighting was a little dark at times. Maybe a different location may have helped this. Great job!
- 4/24 12:02 pm - Nice camerawork overall. Good editing and color grading. The actor does a good job making this dramatic. Music sets the mood perfectly. Overall great work creating a stylish moody scene. I was a little disappointed by the poop joke ending, but I guess that's the joke you were setting up, so... OK.
- 4/21 12:31 pm - Good moving camera shot at the beginning of the video to catch the viewer's attention. Music selection works well with the images you recorded. Editing is well done. Keep producing more videos.
Judge 1
Positives: Everybody can relate to needing the bathroom. Having a well dressed person in need adds a bit to the distress. Good point of view shot as he's banging on the door.
Improvements: Could have used more context to set up the emergency. How about him struggling during a scene if he's an action star? Maybe even hollering cut. Playing up the unsympathetic occupier would have fed your star's frustration. Having some shots from inside the bathroom and then showing the occupier's leisurely exit would have set up the finale and last line with a little more punch.
Judge 2
Positives: It shouldn't have made me laugh... but it did. I'm a sucker for bathroom humor. The main actor was convincing enough to sell it. Decent camera work and sound effects.
Improvements: The story was too 1 dimensional. I kept waiting for a twist but a twist never came. Multiple bathrooms all being occupied maybe? Some sort of story with why he was being ignored? The story was short enough that it didn't get too boring but it was teetering on that edge.
Judge 3
Positives: Very simple narrative about sh*tting ones pants. What is not to like? I am sucker for a simple gag like this, and I heartily laughed at the juxtaposition of somber music under this story. Also, you were able to work "goddamn" in there a lot. I found that added to the realism.
Improvements: You kept it tight, which I respect and appreciate. More than you can say for the main character. That said, I think you could've crammed a couple more desperate measures in there for the sake of adding more humor. Maybe saying a silent prayer to himself? Maybe offering money to the person on the toilet. Overall, this was a ton of fun. Nice work.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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