Neuqua Alumni - ID# 134
Neuqua Valley
News Package
Entry Description
2020 Neuqua Valley alumni Mark Gronowski won his 2nd division 1 FCS football title for South Dakota State University.
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Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/1 1:09 pm - Good story, great character. Really enjoyed watching. You did a good job with the challenge of not having the interview in person.
- 3/4 11:23 pm - Interesting story. Good broll to go with what's being said. Strong opening. There is an odd reverb on the audio of all vocals. Not sure where it is coming from. The one area I would encourage you to work on is your delivery. Don't think about reading your VOs. You're telling an exciting sports story. Be excited and let the words flow a little more.
Judge 1
Positives: Sports interviews tend to go long, so good job covering up a lot of the sound with broll. I like how you incorporated his current playing days and memories from high school. Good job keeping the nats on the broll. The world isnt silent.
Improvements: The nats were too long at the beginning. You don't need to fill time. You could start this at about 9 seconds in at back to back championships. Don't hide the courtesy on a video. It took me too long to spot ESPN in the corner. Put it in an upper corner. You don't want anyone thinking you took video without proper sourcing. Add some nats. A great place would be the "mvp mvp" at the end after you said it would be great to get a third title, nat pop, then your sig out.
Judge 2
Positives: -The story flowed well! I liked how you started with Mark's personal perspective and what it meant for Mark to win a championship. -Great use of video. Each clip matched the narration and that makes a huge difference when you're a visual storyteller. Good job!
Improvements: -The audio at the top felt a little long. My suggestions would be to start with "and South Dakota State wins another National Championship" then you can start the first track from there. This allows the piece to move quickly and capture the viewer's attention right away -I would've liked to see a reporter stand-up. It's important to show presence in the piece, when possible. Perhaps a stand-up at the Nequa Valley Football Stadium where Mark used to play.
Judge 3
Positives: - Great job including some natural sound, whether it be from the TV broadcast or just the high school game video. It really helps the viewer feel like they are watching the game or at it, which in turn, helps them get interested in your story. - I thought you did well using your writing to make this story flow. You set up his soundbites well. The video to match his career made sense. Nice work!
Improvements: - While I enjoy the natural sound of the TV broadcast at the beginning, at 0:16, it's way too long. I wasn't quite sure where your story was going to go. Next time, try to limit that to no more than 3 to 4 seconds. If you just have to use one line, then do that. - Also, while you're relying on a lot of other sources for video, I feel like you missed an opportunity to be more specific in your writing. Point him out on the play or in the celebration. Make sure your viewer, who may not be as fully invested in sports as you are, can comprehend who he is.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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