Hiding in Plain Sight - ID# 139

Neuqua Valley
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

A lonely ghost falls in love with a girl. The only problem is... she's still alive.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/19 11:27 am - Excellent titling. Clear and compelling story; great instinct to add the ghost to everyday life instead of the spooky; excellent work with the props. The sound and music was solid and reinforced the narrative. I appreciated the establishing shots and the wide variety of looks (the variety of camera work flowed well and was not jarring or overdone); night photography is tough, but you did a good job lighting the ending without it looking unnatural. Outstanding editing, especially without the benefit of dialogue, you clearly expressed a moving and intelligible story with the magic of editing. Very impressive work!
  • 3/5 10:54 am - I enjoyed this story! You were so creative with following your title of the video being hiding in plain sight. These shots were very thought out and you hit the nail on the head. Your editing, lighting, and story made your film look professional. Nicely done!
  • 2/27 12:25 pm - The best opening sequence I have seen in all of the films submitted in this category! Bar none! Your story is original, thoughtful and convincing. The shot of the suspended flowers is a great idea. The ending, though gruesome, is unexpected. The hairpin is a nice touch and the driver jumping out of the car - the attention to detail of storytelling! The composition is fantastic and the tracking shot behind the love interest's hair is a great idea. I wish the camera was on a dolly though. And you told the story with no dialogue! Good for you!
Judge 1

Positives: Thoroughly enjoyed this film! Very well paced, we were locked in with the main ghost throughout, understood exactly what they wanted, and the mix of comedy and drama was very well done. I also appreciated the simple wardrobe shift of eyes to hearts, and hairclip the girl ghost wore - a great evolution of what audiences may recognize from "A Ghost Story" that felt unique. I also loved the ending - quirky, fun, horrifying, and lovely all at the same time. That's a feat to pull off in any film, and you've done it in 5 minutes. Congrats on an excellent film.

Improvements: I don't think you needed the reveal that the girl couldn't see the ghost during the coffee shop scene - astute audiences will recognize and appreciate that you give them credit for paying attention. A second (minor) challenge was the sound design during the coffee scene - the ringing was so loud I had to turn the volume down on my headset, but this note also coincides with the above. Trusting your audience will only make your film stronger.

Judge 2

Positives: I think the pacing of the shots throughout the film were really well done especially towards the beginning. The story itself was confusing at first, but I thought the resolution of them finally "seeing" each other was well done.

Improvements: Just make sure some of the close-up shots are not out of focus, because they can be important to the story. I think the film could have been resolved even earlier instead of the ghost continuing to follow the girl around.

Judge 3

Positives: The story and theme of this short film are really strong. There are also so many moments where the music highlights the story well. The props/costumes were great. Ghosts are depicted a lot of different ways, and at first, i was unsure how i felt about seeing the feet, but I think it’s part of the charm of the film’s world. Especially the fuzzy eyes, the heart eyes, and the hair clip really help to enhance the ghost costuming. The story arc in this is fun. Also, exploring the limitations of what the ghost can do is fun. Still building the story through the montage is a great touch to keep it engaging. This film gets through a LOT of story within 5 minutes and the pacing doesn’t feel too fast! The ending tone shift was also handled well.

Improvements: This is super nit-picky, but I wish there were a reason why the ghost took an interest in her specifically. If there were a small moment that highlights her as a character that the ghost takes interest in, that would help to immerse the audience into the story since it's more specific. What if we didn’t show the ghost as much? Maybe an empty shot or just showing her solo? Letting the viewer’s brain fill in that the ghost is always there could be more powerful.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 5

Positives:

Improvements: