Finding Introspection - ID# 130
Wheeling High School
Movie Trailer
Entry Description
Nate, a recent middle school graduate, is absolutely ecstatic to begin the most thrilling four years of his life. Unfortunately, it was safe to say his first day of freshmen year fell short of his high hopes and expectations. To combat his disappointment, Nate was determined to find a hobby to invest his passion and ambition into. To his dismay, Nate wasn't able to excel in any activity he had tried. After just about giving up, he tried one last thing; basketball. His love for the sport was immediate and his talent was unmatched. After making the team and starting on varsity, Nate's confidence was through the roof. But, on one fatal day, Nate's future in his sport all came to end...
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Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/24 10:39 pm - It feels like the premise described doesn’t fully match what we’re seeing in the final trailer. If the focus is on the “first day of school” and feeling isolated, including more shots with other actors could really help emphasize that theme and create a stronger emotional connection. Try thinking about how you can use visuals to tell your story more clearly, rather than relying on a written description. What kinds of scene setups or moments could have shown that loneliness or social anxiety more effectively? With stronger execution and more intentional storytelling, the concept could come through much more powerfully. You’ve got a relatable idea here, just needs a little more development to bring it to life on screen!
- 4/24 9:03 pm - This could have used more of a few things to help bring the story you wrote in the description to fruition. The story was pretty much just told in the voiceovers. It didn't necessarily *show* any of the the things being narrated well. When coming up with your story try envisioning it without any words, can you still get the message across? And if you were to watch this without the sound, would the message be the same you were trying to tell? You have a good premise, but adding some media elements (more actors so it looks like the first day of school, teachers welcoming students, a team to show him making the team, a good mix of audio that is clear to hear, etc.) will flesh it out, and help make it believable and engaging for your viewers.
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