EX1L3D - ID# 132
Highland Park
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Deep in the reaches of space, Alex Rourke searches planet after planet for his missing father. With dwindling supplies and no leads, hope seems lost—until his ship’s AI, M.A.R.I.A (Machine Assistant for Reasoning and Intelligent Analysis), unexpectedly reactivates with new information. "EX1L3D" pronounced as "Exiled".
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/24 2:53 pm - Powerful story with dynamic and engaging effects. Strong beginng, middle, and end. At :03 – the character looks a bit crunched, almost like it was an a wider aspect ratio image that was stretched to be smaller. Solid sound design. Fun Easter Egg of the character wearing the A24 shirt. The POV shot from the AI perspective is very cool. Great performances which also means great actor direction. Excellent end-titling.
- 3/13 3:08 pm - Great work on using production design for visual storytelling. The setting and genre are clear to the audience from the first few shots. The sound design has a nice hollow/vacuum quality that underscores the desolate setting where this character is traveling. It's subtle but a huge contributor to the audience's understanding of the story and the mood of your piece. This film has a simple, familiar story, but works well and is a great way of showing off your VFX skills!
Judge 1
Positives: I mean, incredible production quality. Wow. It reminded me of the opening scene of avengers endgame. Great stuff. I loved the film grain on top, the whole image just felt like it was meant to exist together. There's really strong lighting and bold lighting choices. There's a strong performance from the actor. There's great audio elements. All of this comes together to make a piece that really shines. Great work!
Improvements: The story flows very nicely in the upfront. We're introduced to this world and character well. But that slows down when the AI conversation happens. It just doesn’t flow naturally and information is revealed in a very confusing way. This is the turning point of the story, and it should have some sort of difficulty being achieved- not just some exposition about how he’s low on food and this is his last resort. We still need to see the character go through some sort of challenge, and lightly banging on the AI box to get it to turn on is definitely not it. That being said, the twist is pretty cool. But we don’t expect it and it sorta comes out of left field because we’re not given any hints that AI has an agenda of any kind. It would help to establish that the AI has a relationship with the human character and that the AI is able to make decisions of their own free will (rather than just being used for tasks as issued by the human). Maybe they’re more friendly and they do bits and riff with each other, like it’s a relationship the audience is invested in, one they cherish. Then when the AI betrays him and exiles him, it’s gut-wrenching and we feel for the character being exiled. Without that key understanding of the AI and its relation to the lead character, it’s tough to be invested in the story’s conclusion and twist.
Judge 2
Positives: I think the plot and the editing you used was really unique. The framing of shots was well done and had purpose. Overall this was very unique and the story was very well told with minimal characters within the 5 minutes, well done.
Improvements: With the wide shots especially you could tell it was a green screen and some of the elements within the shots were disproportioned. The lighting differed between some shots within the same location so just make sure it all matches.
Judge 3
Positives: Great effects and compositing. The effects used to make the hologram video communication between Alex and his father was very impressive as well. The story flowed and held my interest throughout. I encourage you to keep experimenting like this in future projects.
Improvements: Here are a couple of suggestions that would help to make this even better. Compare the look of Alex at :44 and 4:35. The treatment you used at :44 makes him fit perfectly into the scene. The color scheme works and his overall treatment matches the background. At 4:35 Alex's image is crisp and doesn't blend the same way. The earlier shot composite is very impressive. Consider doing a similar thing with the ending composites. Nest, take a look at 3:35. I don't completely buy the walk. But if you created a foreground layer of rocks that would block the bottoms of his shoes this would be much more believable. The top layer would be a row of foreground rocks. The next layer is the green screen walking Alex, and finally, you would use the current background. I am very impressed with the work you performed and hope to see more of your work in the future.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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