Inside - ID# 146

Maine South
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

Step into the shoes of Jordan as she faces a lifelong battle to find answers to her mental health questions.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/25 10:50 pm - This was incredibly done! Your opening camera shots were immaculate, very well done. Your overall editing was amazing. The way you overlaid shots to portray the feeling your character was feeling was spectacular to see. I have zero negative feedback. You are destined for success in the film industry!
  • 4/25 11:58 am - Excellent opening sequence and titling. In terms of sound, overall very clean, creative, and professional. The story is very strong with an impressive mix of narration and dialogue. However, there are moments where the narration is competing with the music. I typically recommend having the music bed under dialogue at about -26 to -29 dbs. The editing sequences communicate information and emotion effectively in such brief periods of time. The camera work is immensely impressive – demonstrating a strong understanding of visual language and how images convey information. This is an outstanding work! I hope you are pursuing media production professionally. The one major piece of feedback, that you may be aware of, is the ending is a bit abrupt that does not leave room for an emotional response. While festival cuts often need to be 5 minutes, I think this would benefit strongly from a slower ending. Also, the narration having the final say actually takes away a bit. I would suggest allowing that moment with the mom and daughter to breathe. Tied to that, the ending credits and music give thriller vibes, when I interpreted this as something more somber and depressing than thrilling. In summary, quite incredible, but could use work on driving home the message with emotion in the ending.
  • 2/23 1:24 pm - This was a pleasure to watch. I thank you for putting so much thought and energy into this film. Your sound design and execution and brilliant. The camerawork is breathtaking. I was particularly impressed by your ability to find a way to represent the inner turmoil of your character without overwhelming me with a constant barrage of words. Well done. I hope you're going to film school!
Judge 1

Positives: Superb, emotional piece that was not only very well written but very well performed and edited. You could easily sink into the character, understand her challenges, and relate. The use of natural light was also excellent - clearly used to the filmmakers advantage, and the shots / editing were abstract and compelling. But what I loved most was how personal and specific this piece felt. Congratulations on a really wonderful film.

Improvements: While I liked the younger child introduction as quick exposition and a break in the heavy tone early in the piece, I think the narrative could have benefited from landing squarely into the present once and staying there. To be extremely specific for a second piece of feedback - the CU of the child's face at 0:15 felt strangely uplit, which conflicted with the beauty of what she was seeing. It surprised me in a strange, uncomfortable way because everything else was shot so beautifully around it - but we weren't quite in the "everything is wrong" phase. That said: this is a very simple, easily correctable lighting note that did not affect me holistically in the story.

Judge 2

Positives: Wow, I really liked this film. It is extremely well done, and I could tell a lot of planning went into this based on all of the locations, actors, even people and things happening in the background. The quick cuts and close-ups really tied the film together. Your main actor was great and very well prepared and I really enjoyed the cuts between past and present, I think it worked really well and was not rushed.

Improvements: If I had to be picky I think that the voiceover could have been even more emotionally spoken, even slower than it was. The writing was great, but I think in this case maybe less is more. I also think that instead of cutting to the "hurricane" with the special effects it could have been even more simple with just more quick cuts of close-ups of the panic attack or even just things that might have been triggering (people, objects, places, etc.).

Judge 3

Positives: I mean……. c’mon, the cinematography and acting are out of this world. Especially working with child talent. The pacing moves effortlessly, and the story keeps you engaged throughout the entire film. Specifically, the cut back to the childhood scenes is flawless. Overall, it looked like a movie and felt like a movie. Very solid images.

Improvements: The short film is perfect aside from the writing. There are two downfalls of Hollywood films, narration and CGI. Typically, narration should have a reason for it existing in the world of the film, not just an external voice. For example, in this world, it could be shown that the main character is talking to a therapist or writing in a journal. Also, relying on CGI as a heavy lifter during a pivotal moment took me out of the story. I only note this because I was fully immersed until this point and because in terms of story, swapping in another metaphor that is easier to achieve probably would have made this moment stronger.

Judge 4

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Judge 5

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