The Secret - ID# 191

Lyons Township
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

"The Secret" is a short dramatic film about John, a teen who is keeping a secret from his friends.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/23 9:53 am - The Setup was very strong with excellent dialogue and acting. I originally thought it was that he was buying one of them flowers but then was embarrassed that they seemed to be a couple. On one hand, I appreciate the twist because it was clearly the main purpose of the video, but I would recommend either teasing the seriousness of the film's final tone earlier, or exploring that idea that the flower was for one of them further. As for things that could be improved, the biggest is the exposure/lighting. For example, in the opening scene, the characters are underexposed and the windows are correctly exposed – it is more important to properly expose your characters. If you simply had to film in that location, I would recommend recording the conversation from the side so as to avoid the blown out windows. The white balance is also struggling at times (the skin tones are very orange). It seems the camera is balanced for the exterior instead of the interior. It is difficult filming in locations with "muddy lighting," but I would always recommend prioritizing the white balance on the skin tones. J & L cuts could be more flushed out – this is most noticeable at 1:19. In the ending, the wind noise is a bit extreme. I would recommend just lowering the audio levels a bit to make it less distracting, and perhaps add an equalizer or de-noiser. I appreciate the rack focus in the ending, but it feels a bit out of place, it may have been stronger doing the rack-focus as the ending shot with him walking away and then pulling focus into the flower. Overall, strong storytelling! The biggest things to work on are exposure and audio.
  • 3/14 10:06 am - This film feels so grounded in reality. I think the characters are all very believable (thanks to your great actors). The way that the girl jumps to conclusions and it all turns out to be a misunderstanding because she assumed wrong. You have a really good story here. It's paced very well too. Nice job slowing down the pacing at the end when he gets to the cemetery. Good editing! Working in some more sound design would definitely not hurt. Try putting music in other places besides that one short music piece towards the middle of the film. You could add in some ambient noise in the flower shop as well.
  • 3/3 10:44 am - Lovely ending. I don't think you need a title card at all. Cutting to the cemetery scene would make sense. You did not white balance the camera and the dialogue recording is uneven.
Judge 1

Positives: “John” kills it with the acting! Story here is great. I like the twist and how its revealed, it feels impactful and helps connect why he was acting strange in the store. And especially when they’re chalking it up to a date rather than the true serious matter. Camera is very solid, only a few shots were dark or a bit shaky.

Improvements: The visuals are a bit murky/over-saturated at times. Also, in the date stake-out scene, it's very clear that there wasn't a clear effort made to make the lighting feel part of the scene or cinematic in nature. This took me out of the scene.

Judge 2

Positives: The framing was well done throughout the film which is important. I also think the dialogue was well written which made the actors work well on camera. Also, the slight camera movements throughout were well done too.

Improvements: I think you could have used more of the 5 minutes to tell more of the story, especially with John. The lighting was a bit dark in the flower shop - I think it could have been more saturated and brighter to showcase all the colors in there.

Judge 3

Positives: The scene in the cemetery is very powerful. Both the framing and color scheme define what John is feeling. The overall story is effective as well. The two friends don't have a clue about what John is experiencing. Nonetheless, John starts to deal with his loss by showing his love to his mother by sharing a private moment with her at the cemetery. This is a heartfelt project. I commend you for your courage in creating it.

Improvements: Look into some color correction techniques. Most of the editing software has that capability. The sequence inside the flower shop has a red cast. You can balance that, so it looks more natural. The scene in the cemetery looks great and delivers the emotional impact that john is experiencing. The sky is grey, I see as aligning with his grief and loss. The rose is a rich red, which represents the feelings he has for his mother. If you apply that concept to other shots, it will enhance the overall emotional impact.

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Judge 5

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