Make a Wish - ID# 193
Neuqua Valley
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
This short film revolves around Tim, who is searching for items to sell at a garage sale his buddy is hosting. He finds a mysterious item that could change his life, as soon as he finds the right words.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/30 4:21 pm - Simple and funny concept. Very clever script. Very cool effects!
- 4/27 11:57 am - Smart concept and good acting performances. The two characters had great chemistry and it was fun to watch them banter. Overall the camera compositions were very basic and at times having the genie's hand come into the frame was messy-looking. The effects worked well. The ending was OK, but maybe could have been stronger in terms of execution - he never actually said "wish" so it's questionable.
Judge 1
Positives: The dialogue was funny and well written. I thought it was a clever story with good timing and a solid premise. The VFX used to have the genie appear in a cloud of smoke was well executed. Great work keeping the genie purple. That’s not always easy to pull off!
Improvements: The sound levels were somewhat inconsistent throughout. Sometimes the dialogue was too quiet and other times it was a little too loud. Would have liked to see a little bit more shot variety in the overall coverage. Like more motion, close ups, etc.
Judge 2
Positives: You are utilizing a very advanced technique that was developed during the early noir movement called over lapping dialogue. You would find examples of this in Haword Hawkes, HIS GIRL FRIDAY, And what’s fascinating about what you are doing with it is creating a three dimensional space for the actors play. That is very good. And very refreshing for someone as young as you to be doing.
Improvements: Remember the rule of threes, the joke, or plot point of story is only funny after the second time. If it keeps going, the momentum falls flat. The acting is good enough to be carrying the situation, and the directors cameo heightened the stakes. But it might have been a good idea to collaborate with an editor and see what they could to make this tighter. Because it feels like a lot of the same. Great shot though! I can tell this was a real team effort with the whole gang, so it gets bonus points from me for showing grace!
Judge 3
Positives: Great twist on the genie trope! A ton of fun, with lots of laughs throughout. A few instances of some really great cinematography, and the special FX really leveled everything up. The "No regrets here" was a great laugh line. \\ The end wrapped up very nicely. Excellent work overall. Keep making movies!
Improvements: You might consider showing the actual writing on the notepad he suddenly pulls out after remarking he feels like he should've been more prepared for this. Considering he was prepared, I think letting the audience get a glimpse of the actual writing on the notepad would compliment that gag nicely and take it all the way.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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