Entry: Denied - ID# 206
Neuqua Valley
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
After returning home with groceries, one of Earth's mightiest heroes, Magnificent Man, is locked out of his own home and now must find a way in "without revealing" his secret identity.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/23 10:42 am - Great VFX work here. Really nice shot type variation and edit. Your sound design and scoring are excellent. The sound or absence of sound really helps punctuate the jokes. The story is clear for the most part.The neighbor scene stalls the momentum just a little, but there are some good jokes and he needs to get the key for the gag at the end. This is clearly a well thought out and well-executed film. Great job all around!
- 4/22 1:44 pm - Great editing. Love the shakes and other jump cuts to create flashes and speed. From the eyes to the fire to the CGI flying, the cinematography matched the editing so well and I commend you for the intense planning that involves. Just a couple notes to help move forward. try to keep your visual cuts that are meant to be funny fast and don’t linger on a series of shots that are meant to be silly. The pace, misdirection, and jump cut to the next absurd image all help the the comedy element and will keep the audience on their toes. For instance, you stay on the shot of him crying on the ground for his mom too long. That broke up the humor and the pace and didn’t really help with the comedy as much as a pout or soft groan and then cut to the next attempt. This is what we call "pacing" and it's more of a feel vs. a technicality, but you know when it's too fast or too slow. Overall, this was a lot of fun and came out about as close to what I imagine you envisioned. Great work!
Judge 1
Positives: Really great use of some very engaging special FX shots! Very fun premise here.
Improvements: I think maybe some sort of explanation as to why his house also happens to be super would help the story along. That took me out of the narrative a bit. I think the concept of a super house vs. it's super owner is very cool though in essence, and there's a ton of potential there. Also, if he can fly, I wasn't sure how failed so miserably with the ladder. Great work! Keep making movies!
Judge 2
Positives: Obviously the special effects are... magnificent. From the first shot on, the SFX are one of the stars of the project and they stay interesting til the end. The actor does a convincing job and the setting is used effectively. The whole gag with the ladder worked well. I liked that he was able to break into his neighbor's house with no problem but couldn't get into his own!
Improvements: The editing could have been significantly tighter. There are a few sequences that lost comedic value because the shots were too long. Overall, I think the project would have had a greater impact if it were a minute/ minute and a half shorter. Some gags (namely the flying into space/at the house and the laser eyes) didn't make much sense. Could have used a bit more visual explanation. Also, watch out for the cameraman in the window! But I really liked the project overall. And the SFX were truly awesome!!
Judge 3
Positives: the editing is really strong in this. i think the color correction adds a lot of production value, while using your editing to add to the comedic elements of the short. you can tell this was well planned in pre-production with the amount of shot coverage and very clear story telling.
Improvements: the production design in the home could've been a lot stronger. i wish the home looked more lived in/had more than the blank white walls. magnificent man getting into the home felt like it could've been a little grander, but fell a little flat.
Judge 4
Positives: I enjoy the color grade on the footage, it's definitely not straight out of camera which is nice! Music always feels in point!
Improvements: Be careful when using warp stabilizer, if you are going to use it intentionally shoot the image wider the needed so when it does crop you aren't loosing framing Be mindful at points to focus on capturing shots that are properly in focus, I enjoy the supplemental lighting you bring in at the front door, lovely eye lights!
Judge 5
Positives:
Improvements: