Unaddressed - ID# 207
Glenbrook North
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
Trapped in a time loop, a soon-to-be college freshman believes he’s forgetting a material item—but soon realizes the goodbye he truly needs to say is to his best friend.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/30 4:39 pm - Great and simple concept. I think we could've used more messages from the friend throughout to understand that's what he needed all along. Very fun and interesting editing and camera work.
- 4/16 3:20 pm - Nice job with the time loop aspect. The shots and editing are well-done. The ending is a little unclear and rushed, even though you clearly want to leave it a little ambiguous. This would probably benefit with a little more in Act 2, to make the situation worsen and really make it a "long story," as he says. Right now it feels like a beginning and an end, with not much middle. Either way, a fun homage to Groundhog Day.
Judge 1
Positives: I love the concept behind this narrative. It works very well a short since it's simple, contained, and doesn't over-extend itself. The editing and action help tell the story just as the dialogue does. Some great camerawork here. Especially the drone shot at the end.
Improvements: I would recommend using a boom mic instead of a lavaliere mic for this kind of video. The audio peaked at times and could be hear "ruffling". Plus, at 1:57 you can see the actor wearing it haha. The lighting in the bedroom could of been improved by being a bit brighter and a little bit more balanced.
Judge 2
Positives: Very interesting film. Plays a lot with time, and how it unfolds in any given space.this is was done with the precision of the editing, the timing of the jump cuts, snd really squeezing everything out of the rule of threes. Had a very satisfying ending too.
Improvements: A little over kill, and I was kind of frustrated things weren’t escalating too much. However, you did direct anxieties and experiences you know, so thats going to get bonus points from me!
Judge 3
Positives: Very impressive editing! Nice work conveying the repetition of the time loop with clever editing. Lots really creative shots that made the whole thing very visually engaging. Also, great location shot on the beach. Very beautiful and a nice distinctive break from the time loop we've seen up until that point. Bonus points for including profanity! I didn't know that was permitted, but I approve! A charming story with humor and heart! Keep up the great work and don't stop making movies!
Improvements: Having read the plot description prior to watching, I knew what was ultimately going to happen. I feel like that might've confused my experience a bit. It might not be a bad idea to include a bit more in the film itself to indicate that saying goodbye to his friend was what he was missing all along. Perhaps you could've extended the loop sequence just a bit to really sell the idea that he has been in this exhausting loop for a while, and that he is desperate to find a way out. As it stands, he is aware of his temporal prison, but he doesn't freak out or really acknowledge how bizarre it is that he's caught in the loop. I think a little more acknowledgement of that might've helped the story along. That said, this was an excellent short film and you should be incredibly proud!
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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