Countdown - ID# 201
Waubonsie Valley
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A short film about two friends who are trapped in a nuclear fallout shelter
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/16 3:12 pm - Compelling story that is very relatable in the current social context post-lockdown. Very strong performances. There are some issues with sound throughout that pull the audience outside of the story. For instance, wind noise in the exterior shots and then boom pole shaking sounds at :30. Solid dialogue and performances! Impressive script – very clear beginning-middle-end story with strong character development. For some reason, it isn't too detrimental or distracting, but be aware that you broke the 180 degree rule at 1:30. Some areas for growth are J & L cuts, and a more consistent color grade. The shaky camera at 4:45 feels out of the style of the rest of the film. I wonder if there is a longer version of this, because the ending feels like it just needs a moment or so more to wrap up the story. Overall, impressive work! My biggest recommendations for improving it are smoothing out the ending, cleaning up sound a bit, and making the color grade more consistent.
- 3/13 3:14 pm - This is a fun concept and you did a good job building these characters' personalities and their relationship. Good buildup of stakes as well. The twist at the end is funny. The part when they get locked in the bunker seems a little too contrived - is there a way it could be more accidental? Or maybe give it a little more time before it happens? The pacing of this film feels fast. Think about where you might be able to cut down parts and make other sections longer.
- 2/28 8:11 am - Short films are really not good at "one month later" type of storytelling. Do we really need to know that what the boys are breaking into is a bunker? What would happen if they just broke into a locked building? I love the idea that the film is about two friends working it out - great idea. The story's turning points (when they come out, they need to go back in) are a little gratuitous - and convenient. Not sure what lesson you want your viewers to learn.
Judge 1
Positives: I really like how this short film feels conclusive. The characters are introduced well, there's a clear physical conflict but also a conflict between the characters. As they endure this space together, those issues are brought forward, and they resolve them in a heart to heart. The camera move in this moment is effective in breaking up the pattern to highlight this pivotal change. This is a really tough story to tell as a student film and with a 5-minute time limit, but I felt it was done very well here. The set propping and design was also fun and showed care. Great work.
Improvements: The only items I have to speak on in terms of improvement are elements that show up pretty consistently across work at this level; the camera colors are sometimes a bit off on tint or saturation which is a bit distracting, there are some auto focus issues and plain composition choices that take me out of the story. The most important thing to focus on in creating short films and really, video content of any kind for consumption, is what you're saying (the story) and how that story is paced. So great work there.
Judge 2
Positives: I think the framing of each shot was well done and I could see that each shot had a purpose. I liked that the story had a beginning, middle and end as well - it was well constructed.
Improvements: If there was anything to improve I would suggest to make sure the lighting is the same especially going back and forth between the conversational shots, just make sure it matches. Also with the background music it was a little overpowering at times, so make sure the dialogue is what stands out the most.
Judge 3
Positives: Consider framing more shots away from eye level. Use more low and high-angle shots to help emphasize the frustration and fear the two main characters are experiencing. Experiment with lighting a little more. Since there is no direct daylight, maybe the interior lighting could be a little moodier with shadows and more bright and dark areas. You could even subtly change the lighting from day to day to help express the emotional state of the two characters.
Improvements: I was impressed with the overall script. You did an excellent job with character development. I was able to relate to them. The story held my interest the entire time. The editing was another factor that led to the success of this project. It was paced very well. You kept the story moving throughout. It would have been easy to linger and make your audience feel as if they were on lockdown for 6 months. Instead, you moved the story along and kept things very interesting and engaging.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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