Mistakes In a Loop - ID# 216
Neuqua Valley
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
Phoenix and Teddy unsuspectingly make their way into the studio, when strange things begin to happen around the room.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/25 3:03 pm - Very cool concept. Shot and edited well. Not sure if it's a comedy or drama. The laugh tracks were very distracting.
- 4/24 10:08 pm - Interesting and creative concept. Great job doing a lot with a little. Music works well to set the tense mood, but the laugh track is totally out of place. This film seems to be caught between genres - is it a sci-fi thriller, or a silly comedy? Pick one. The tone is confusing otherwise. Interesting ending bringing it back to where it started. There's a strong story at the heart of this, but it gets overshadowed by distracting post-production choices.
- 4/21 11:35 am - Good fast motion close-up camera shot at the beginning of the video to catch the viewer's attention. Good variety of different camera angles throughout the video. Good use of sound effects. Music selection works well with the images you recorded. Editing is well done. Keep producing more videos.
Judge 1
Positives: Time travel stories are always fun and fraught with inconsistencies. You've got a nice variety of shots and media students and teachers can relate to not leaving the production area in good shape. The bumbling sidekick is a good comedic device.
Improvements: The plot could use some patching. What are they trying to avoid? What's going on in the studio? How did they know to make the warning video? Solutions don't need to be super logical, but something to round out the story.
Judge 2
Positives: Clever premise! The idea of the time-loop/camera-footage-from-the-future was interesting enough to keep the story moving and keep the audience guessing. Solid use of the setting. And good job making a prop (the keypad)!! Art Department is my job so seeing that made me smile. It was used effectively. The actors were believable and played off each other well.
Improvements: The audience laughter was really unnecessary and detracted from the overall comedic feel. It took the story from serious comedy to campy. And the story started out so strong but then lost it's way about halfway through. It would have helped to find out how the footage on the camera was filmed in the first place. It also would have helped to explain why and how the time loop was actually happening. Those two things being unresolved left the video feeling unfinished.
Judge 3
Positives: Great work! Some very fun visual effects and gags employed here. The two main characters were very distinct, and had some really fun interplay. Teddy in particular made for some great laughs. The laugh track was a fun addition.
Improvements: It would be fun to see a mirrored dynamic in the relationship between the future versions of themselves. The future counterpart of the stupid character seems to be of normal intelligence. Definitely some potential for a couple more jokes there. While this story features the tricky plot device of time travel, it suffers a bit from a narrative perspective, as the characters don't really experience much of an arc. Overall, this was a great short comedy film that was no doubt a ton of fun to make. Keep it up!
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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