Comeback Season - ID# 211
Homewood-Flossmoor
News Package
Entry Description
A story on the comeback season of the HF Field Hockey team by winning their first game in years.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/25 11:04 pm - Fun piece. Lots of good interviews. Audio is clean. Some good shots throughout. It does have a bit of a natty pack feel without the reporter. Some of the broll is action packed and then a couple others is lack luster. The one that stands out is the pan of the girls sitting on the bench. That shot lacks some punch. Overall all, nice storytelling.
- 4/8 9:53 pm - I agree with the other comments, not your traditional news package, maybe better in a different category?
- 4/1 1:55 pm - This was a NATS pkg more than a traditional package
- 4/1 1:55 pm - Shot well, good nats, well told
Judge 1
Positives: I like how you started with nats from the team. It's great that you had different shots of the team showing different emotions as you explained how last season wasn't great. I like the nat pops of the coaches, just try to get that nat sound full
Improvements: Why did you put music under the whole thing? I enjoyed the nats to start and then the music distracted from any natural sound. No one really reads graphics unless you reference them. You didn't need the stats from the previous years on a graphic. If you're doing a straight nats pkg, you should have people introduce themselves. If I'm listening and not paying 100% attention, then I have no clue who is talking.
Judge 2
Positives: -I liked the sound bite selection it made the story flow well. -Great use of natural sound to drive the piece and transition in between clips
Improvements: -I would've liked to see more sequencing in the video. It's important to lay out a series of camera movements from wide to medium to close up shots, so that they move your story ahead -The audio transition between the first clip and the first interview could've been a little smoother. But overall, the piece sounded good
Judge 3
Positives: - I like the varying perspectives you had from a bunch of the players and coaches. It was nice to hear their different takes on trying to find success within the program after a lot of losing seasons. - You did a great job visualizing this story and matching it with natural sound. I really liked the start and end with the team huddle, where we can actually hear what's going on. That also provided a natural beginning and end. Also, the graphic showing the team's recent records was really well done.
Improvements: - A news package needs reporter narration, and I think this one definitely needed that, because the story overall lacks context. You could have replaced a lot of the soundbites with some detail about what's happened, how this year has been different, and more. Use the soundbites for the details you can't say better than they did. - Also, as a rule of thumb, you don't need music underneath a news package. It is really only used in rare situations to take an emotional story over the top. The music here didn't seem to fit the story.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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