Do Not Enter - ID# 213
Oak Forest
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Teens explore Bachelors Grove to catch the infamous “ Lady in White”. Will they make it out alive? Or will they be me the very thing they had feared.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/29 10:04 am - I was immediately drawn to the vlog style filming. It’s a fast way of connecting with the audience and setting up the plot. From the start, I can tell that there are three main characters that are distinct from each other. One character is more of the dare devil, leading the group into the bushes, another character is more of the follower/observer, and the third character is the most visible as the “scaredy cat,” expressing their fear of entering into the unknown. It doesn’t take too long for us to jump right into the inciting incident where one of the characters notices an unfamiliar creature appearing and disappearing behind the branches. This is where I notice the sound effects at the forefront of the scene. The unsettling muffled ring and a high pitched distorted scream rapidly pushes us into the climax of the film. The elements of an abandoned building, “do not enter” sign, haunting sound effects, abstract images of a flower and hand buried under the leaves, and the costuming are all playing a significant role in building the world of a dramatic film. I would’ve loved to see the camera and vlogging appear more throughout the film. It seems like the camera plays an important role in “capturing the truth,” or even physical evidence. I assume the camera is an important subject of the film because we end with it. I’m not sure if I get this same sense towards the beginning of the film. I would also be interested in seeing a gradual build up to entering the forest, so when we are first exposed to paranormal activity, it hits us even stronger within the rapid pacing that follows.
- 4/29 9:28 am - What Works Well: Your location/production design is awesome! Excellent editing in the back half of the film during the chase starting at :40. I also like the sound design/score as a whole. Your camera work is well done especially in the low light interior. What to Work On: This seems like a 60 second HorrorFest challenge from STN. If that is the case, it is hard to develop a strong narrative in that time. I think you did well for the duration, but there could have been more of a story here with character development. If you are going to submit for both of these, I might shoot a longer narrative for this competition and edit down for STN.
- 4/28 9:47 am - Strengths: Nice opening visuals. Dialogue felt natural- good sound quality and performances. Setting was entirely creepy! Great job finding locations to match your story. There was always something different to look at. Portrayal of the "lady in white" was well thought out (and creepy). Clear camera work with a great variety of angles (loved the whole opening sequence 0:00-0:11). Improvements: Some of the audio cuts out quickly when transitioning in and out of sound effects or from shot to shot; would recommend fading in and out or using the harsh cuts more sparingly. For example, at the beginning, I was just getting accustomed to the visuals and the nature ambience but it cut out right away. Overall, the pacing was very fast, which did help to build suspense, but I would've loved for each shot to be held longer to really develop the moments of the story. I wanted to know more about the characters - why they were there, what happened to them, etc. Slowing down your pacing would help to really build all of those dramatic moments and have a more satisfying payoff at the conclusion of the film.
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Judge 2
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Judge 3
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Judge 4
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Judge 5
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