The Cell - ID# 238
Homewood-Flossmoor
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
After a student gets his phone taken away in class, he needs to find new ways to entertain himself.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/23 11:14 am - Really great well-timed visual gags in this film. It left me wanting to see more. What other elements could you introduce in the montage? All technical aspects of the film looked and sounded great. The “It should look more like this” ending had me wondering if this was a PSA. Overall, nice work. You clearly have some strong filmmaking instincts. Keep going!
- 4/22 2:05 pm - Great job overall! Your audio and camera work to establish the world, characters, and problem was fantastic. Really nice work with the dialogue. The montage of different ways to engage in a cell phone behavior was really fun and the insane laugh at the end was great. REally loved the lesson too, and the last bit helped set the tone. Nice work! As for areas to improve, there could have been more done with the montage of ways he engaged and the build up around his anxiety without us his phone. Those were all one-shot scenes but I would have loved to see more with the stapler, him drawing the phone, and even trying to do social media and smartphone apps on the payphone. Overall, this was a lot of fun, well executed, and great payoff at the end. Keep up the great work!
Judge 1
Positives: A cautionary tale on teenage cellphone dependency under the guise of a comedy! Very nice. I particularly enjoyed the inclusion of the old school payphone and the antics with that.
Improvements: Some of the dialogue could afford to be punched up, but the basics are there. I feel like the ending was a bit hasty and could've been fleshed out a little more for better engagement. Maybe something to make the message go down a little easier. For example, you could cut to the main character at home after school with 5 different cell phones, a laptop, an ipad and the TV on. Keep making movies!
Judge 2
Positives: Plot was straightforward and easy to follow with a humorous twist. Main character's performance was convincing and kind of scary! 0:04 The main character's lightning quick reaction to his teacher was perfect. Speed and technicality can be used very effectively when well rehearsed!
Improvements: 0:24 the character who is speaking is slightly out of focus. This distracts from the evolving story. The ending lacked the comedic punch there was so much buildup for. There were plenty of legitimate laughs but the end just left me a little confused.
Judge 3
Positives: i loved the close up sequences of him fake scrolling on the screen. the script was super funny and has potential!
Improvements: the background music was really loud and distracting in the first scene. the music made more sense in the montage though! i wish there was a little more variety in coverage for each scene. it felt like we kept cutting to the same frames.
Judge 4
Positives: Keeping it short was great! It felt well paced.
Improvements: Be mindful of what is in frame. Sometimes heads are 'just' cut off. It's okay to cut someone's head off for a closeup but make sure it feels intentional and not a mistake. (Like your closeup at 1:43) A good chunk of your film is a conversation scene between two people, I would recommend pulling them off of the wall and framing in foreground of background shots to give your image more depth.
Judge 5
Positives:
Improvements: