Packing It Up - ID# 230
Maine South
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A girl packing up her bags for college is forced to confront and reflect upon her fleeting childhood.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/30 7:44 pm - I think this is a great little coming of age story. It is simple and effective. There is a real focus here and you are able to achieve this visually and with sound and without expository dialogue telling us what your character is thinking and feeling. Your match cuts are great and the sound in the park is a really nice touch. This was a sweet film and an enjoyable watch. Keep making movies! You have a strong narrative voice.
- 4/30 1:19 pm - I really enjoyed the back and forth shots of the objects and the protagonists memories. I would love to see more of this POV of what the character is experiencing. Their performance is very real and pensive. I really appreciate the lyrics matching the text when the credits come in. The use of cross dissolves and fades really support the flash back and memory content of the film. I think location plays a very important role in this film. I think you could be more intentional about what the camera is capturing in each location. How much of the room/park do we have to see? I really like the last scene by the car. The combination of close up and wide establishing shots give us an understanding of the location and the protagonists relationship to it.
- 4/29 11:21 am - Strengths: The cuts between the objects and the memories of the objects were effective. Strong performance by actor. Nice use of natural lighting in the park scenes. The color grading changes to indicate "real life" and memories was clear and worked well. Improvements: Some cuts at the beginning and throughout the film were a bit jumpy- can hold them for a little longer; give us some time to take everything in. Audio in memories could have been used more effectively.
Judge 1
Positives: I liked the shots of belongings around the room, I think it helped tell the story. Some of the shots cutting to the park had great cuts with the actress in the same position.
Improvements: The color is very unsaturated throughout, I feel like it would have been beneficial to see different coloring throughout to explain the feeling of the story. I don't think the song at the end was necessary. I think an instrumental of guitars would have sufficed.
Judge 2
Positives: Sick match cut! They were framed almost perfectly, and your use of golden hour went a long way in creating an impressive transition into a memory. Overall, your editing was very solid, including your color transition at the end! Your use sound was also really polished, including your musical choices. It felt like it could have been composed for this specific short, so well done.
Improvements: Consider your editing pacing. Even though this is very solid, check the beginnings and endings of your clips to see if it wouldn't benefit from cutting sooner. Also, I would have liked to see one or two less match cuts before the big reveal. After the third one, it felt less like a tease before the bigger reveal.
Judge 3
Positives: For one I really love the match cut it was done super clean and I enjoy that trigger to nostalgia. The story is also very relatable and I feel the journey of this character as they embark on this new chapter of life.
Improvements: I feel like it was a little safe, outside of the bedroom and cutting to the park. There really isn't a lot of exploration into what nostalgia really is and what that means for your character, so we have a stuffed animal, but what else can we explore that invokes that feeling of memory and past. Maybe you could've gone into an old photo or maybe you could have connected with a friend and you and that friend could've done something that you've done as children I just think you could have pushed yourself a little bit further because technique wise you're doing some very fun and interesting things.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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