Burnout - ID# 276
Richards High School
Public Service Announcement
Entry Description
This is a PSA about teen burnout.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/30 2:23 pm - The voice over is strong and fits well with the music, and the tone feels real and easy to connect with, which matters a lot for a teen audience. The B roll does a good job backing up the story and adding meaning to the visuals. The shots are all framed nicely, but they stay pretty still, so adding some camera movement could really improve things. When filming screens, try to keep the device steady to cut down on reflections and make scratches less noticeable so the focus stays on what is on the screen. Overall, it is a well shot and edited PSA!
- 4/28 12:59 pm - - Great audio / voice-over, it's clear and works really well with the audiobed. The narrator's voice and tone / intonation were sympathetic and authentic, which is a hard line to walk with teens. Nice work. - Your B-Roll worked really well to tell the story and give the appropriate visuals. - As for tips to improve, we need a bit more emotion to drive the seriousness of the piece. Slow down on the voiceover and give time for the drama to be front and center, along with a music bed that pushes that emotion to the foreground. Right now the pace is one-dimensional, meaning the beginning, middle, and end, all have the same energy or vibe. With storytelling, even in PSA's, you want to start in one place (sad, chaotic, stressed, etc) and end with in a new place (relief, concern, hope, etc.) Keep up the good work, you're on the right track
Judge 1
Positives: Strong voiceover that provided a strong narrative. Great variety of shots in different settings. Music choice was a strong supporter in the piece.
Improvements: Editing could have been paced quicker so keep the viewer engaged. To elevate the piece, more variety of camera movement in the shots would have been beneficial.
Judge 2
Positives: The overall narrative of this PSA is well done. Burnout is something that can be invisible to everyone except the person feeling it. This was a strong line to include in the script. The directing and acting did a nice job of showing a student who was burned out. Starting at home and then going to school was a good choice to show that burnout isn’t only felt when students are at school, but that they can feel the weight 24-7.
Improvements: The shot of the e-mail to the counselor would be better if the subject line filled up more of the frame and there wasn’t the reflection of the light bouncing on the screen. A line in the script that I think diminished the PSA was applying burnout to only seniors. Was this shown only to seniors? If it is meant for general audiences I think it could be re-written to be inclusive for all students.
Judge 3
Positives: What stood out to me the most was your framing of shots. Choosing the steady shots on sticks to capture the mundane, everyday routine is good -- but you take it a step further with some compelling framing to further accentuate the ennuis of routine: framing the subject to the far left, leaving open space of the window and desk to the right, or the shot of the phone lying on the bed or the notebooks laid out. It seems simple but these are confident, clean decisions for the story your trying to tell.
Improvements: There's one shot that takes away the profluence of the story: the desktop screen of the student writing an email to their counselor. The glare reflected on the screen comes off as a flaw and not as a decisive move. I'm curious what this would look like if you remove this shot, if it's removed or replaced with something else.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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