Wake Up - ID# 285

Riverside Brookfield
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

In this compelling narrative, we follow the journey of a teenage girl standing at the precipice of adulthood, caught in the tumultuous waves of expectations. As she navigates the complex transition into adulthood, she grapples with the dichotomy of societal pressures and her own burgeoning sense of self. The story delves deep into her internal struggles, capturing the essence of her battle to find equilibrium between fulfilling the roles imposed by those around her and staying true to her own aspirations and dreams. It's a poignant exploration of identity, growth, and the often arduous task of learning to balance external demands with internal desires, portraying the universal challenge of shaping one’s destiny amidst the cacophony of the world's expectations.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/19 11:33 am - This is beautiful, a bit difficult to judge in the Narrative category, but certainly moving and powerful video storytelling. The sound overall was solid, but the waves were a tad bit distracting (always drawing attention to itself to the point of making it difficult to focus on the narrator and the music). I would suggest lowering it 2-8 dbs. The camera work was masterful – moving, poetic visuals. The last shot is a tad overexposed in a. way that is distracting, but this may be what you were going for. Fading from an overexposed shot to white is a more smooth and intentional technique - would suggest that instead of fading to black. Aside from the minor notes I mentioned, incredible editing. Very powerful, you are clearly talented and hardworking – outstanding job! This is a stand-alone wonderful work of art.
  • 3/5 10:54 am - Excellent camera shots. You utilized many unique shots that kept me engaged the entire video. The shot of the candle burning at both ends was a great addition to the story you were trying to tell. Your guitar shot was so unique and pieced your story together nicely as you have it playing in your song the entire film. Some of the shots were a little shaky, try and use a gimbal at all times. I want to say the shots that were a little shaky may have been previously recorded, but in that case, maybe omitting them would keep all your camera shots consistent. Your audio/music really set the tone for this video and kept me engaged and helped me feel more intimate with your video as you are trying to explain the burning of the candle at both ends and how it’s draining you. I felt this connection, so well done there. Your editing was also fantastic, your choice of edits matched nicely and your video was very professional looking.
  • 2/20 10:05 am - The cinematography (camera work and lighting) are spectacular, as is your sound design. It is very thoughtful and carefully executed. Editing connects ideas the way Eisenstein would. The only drawback (and it is NOT an objective flaw, but a personal preference) is your "wall-to-wall" voiceover. I find it distracting and taking away from the power of your images. Maybe I just can't listen and watch at the same time!
Judge 1

Positives: Really compelling tone-poem that had a clear direction, vibe, and message. It felt personal and real, yet accessible as an audience - and generally just left you feeling good after watching it. The lighting and composition was also excellent - particularly the opening sequence. I also very much liked the old school 'radio' voice for the narration instead of a clean track - added a lot of texture and soul to it. The message also felt earned, and I loved the found-footage additions to bring us into the characters story - really well done!

Improvements: The candle burning at both ends is great symbolism, but I would have liked to seen this pushed both visually, as well as how it was used. Currently it's giving a lot away on first pass, and the recurring nature of it doesn't add any more story for the audience because we fully understand it on initial viewing. In other words: trust your audience. The sound balancing of the music and VO at the opening made it a little difficult to hear what was being said - and that first line is important, both in setting audience expectations, and for the narrative itself. A simple fix, but worth noting how it affects the audiences experience of the film from confusion to clarity.

Judge 2

Positives: I really liked the editing with the quicker close-up cuts towards the beginning of the film, they worked really well. The music choice I think worked well with the story. I also liked the throwback clips and think they were beneficial, but there could have been more clips from the present time that added to more to the story.

Improvements: I think the voiceover could have been more beneficial if there wasn't the radio effect on it and it was spoken a bit slower. I liked the coloring in a few shots but I wish it matched, so be sure to match all of the coloring throughout the film.

Judge 3

Positives: This feels incredibly social-focused and I’m absolutely here for it, more like a youtube video than anything else. From the opening audio recreation to the “little life” theme to the reflection of social media in your glasses, it's apparent where the weight of desiring to be immediately successful comes from. Strong cinematography and editing skills. I love the shot where we fly down the guitar neck. The drone rotating shot in the gym is also very nice! The inclusion of home videos is the icing on the cake. I really like the editing style and pacing. To me, this format is very writing-focused, like a “poem-tok” format. Keep creating stuff like this! The combination of writing from your heart and emotions paired with images you’ve captured in order to build a theme is a huge talent. Your ability to put this together is really telling of what great stuff you’ll do in the future.

Improvements: I really like the story you tell, and I think it’s a popular story for our generation, so because of that, I challenge you to consider how to make your final point, liking living a little life, feel more grand and conclusive, instead of reductive. Like how little moments can be as impactful (or more) as “big” ones. Also, I think people generally understand the point that you are making, so adding your own personal anecdotes to your video is what will make it unique and stand out! What made her realize what the lesson was? What specific story, where was she, how did she figure this out? What was pulling her apart? It gives the audience something to grab onto and relate back into their own lives. Just a note -- This is a different entry than dramatic narrative, it is its own category. It feels like it should be in a category called “social video.” I don’t think this should be compared against the other entries in this category.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 5

Positives:

Improvements: