Lumen - ID# 335
Shepard High School
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A short horror film produced/directed by Billy Kleina and Xavier Ramirez. A lightning storm lurks over town, threatening power going out. There have been murders across town, allegedly the killer only strikes when there is no source of light. Whatever you do, don't turn it off.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/30 7:54 pm - Fun horror movie from the killer’s POV. Nice shot variety and sound design. I like the music and SFX. The audio at :18 is a little hot and could use a little more mixing. Given the concept, I think you could have used light and shadow even more to help tell your story. Consider the contrast dynamic you set up in the opening with the silhouette on the TV. It would be cool to see that play out throughout the rest of the film. The shot at 1:48 is a great example of this. The conversation at the beginning of the film could have used some of this cinematography to make it more visually interesting. Nice work on this. Keep it going!
- 4/29 11:41 am - The music choice is effective at building atmosphere and mood. The Critique: There are noticeable "Audio Bumps." In some scenes, the "Room Tone" (background silence) changes abruptly between cuts, which pulls the viewer out of the immersion. Additionally, some dialogue is "muddy" or "ducked" too low under the music. I would suggest using audio Cross-fades (constant power transitions) between every cut to smooth out the background noise. If dialogue is unclear, consider ADR (re-recording the lines in a quiet room) and syncing them in post. There is a nice variety of compositions, and the "handheld" feel adds a layer of raw realism that fits the theme. Use a tripod for "observational" moments and save the handheld movement specifically for high-anxiety or high-emotion beats. This makes the movement feel like a character in itself. The rhythmic editing in the more "musically driven" sections is quite strong and keeps the viewer engaged. To take this to the next level, focus on audio consistency and motivated camera movement. If you clean up those technical 'bumps,' your message will land with even more power. Great work!
- 4/28 10:45 am - Strengths: Intriguing opening - great use of silhouette over the television screen. Use of audio helped create tension in the story (nicely timed w/ shot at 1:14). Clear, simple story. Improvements: Some of the framing in the first scene felt a little jerky compared to the smooth opening (cuts to the flashlight/phone); took me out of the scene a bit (wanted to feel more connected to the two characters to build the suspense). It felt like the gravity of the situation (storm + killer) could have been established more at the beginning.
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