Peter's Journey - ID# 396
Riverside Brookfield
Documentary
Entry Description
Peter's Journey is a story about Peter Laube's story of making the basketball team his senior year despite various setbacks. His dad was a huge part of his life and after his death he was struggling emotionally. Then after not making his team for two years he put in tons of work to finally achieve his goal.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 9:15 pm - +The structure of chapters is helpful in terms of organization, Interview setup looks very nice -Audio does not sound super clean. Would benefit from interviewing more than one person
- 4/12 9:11 pm - KEEPERS: The basketball broll was very well shot. Great work using a variety of shots to help tell this story. IMPROVEMENTS: The story you told isn't entirely clear. When and how did his father die? How did that effect him? Was that his motivation to keep going to make the team? Is this a story about loss or overcoming adversity? Both? The way you structured it, even with the chapter markers, it wasn't really clear. You needed another voice to this documentary other than Peter. A family member, a coach, a teammate, a friend, someone else needed to be a part of this story. Work on your interview production. Follow rule of thirds and watch the headspace. Your audio on Peter was peaking a bit and he sounded distorted throughout. Make the documentary flow a be smoother in edit. At times it was choppy and the cuts between chapters felt rushed and clipped at times. Overall, there is a lot here within this story. I think more could have been pulled out of it and made clearer with additional voice and context. Keep working and keep telling stories.
Judge 1
Positives: -Good framing/cinematography of the interview -strong cinematography all around -decently strong story
Improvements: -dive more deeply into the emotional hook with his dad -more archival footage, feels like it was all shot at one practice
Judge 2
Positives: You are def working with raw subject matter, and there is certainly a story there. I really liked some of the compositions for the interviews as well.
Improvements: Im a little reserved on this one because I feel like you are losing an opportuniity to tell a story about over coming grief. I understand losing anyone close to you is challenging. We didn't get to see him over come any of that when he made it to the team. It just left me frustrated. I want to know his story, and more. I want to know what it took to reach success after so many set backs. Nit picky things: watch for flash frames in your editing. Don't duplicate takes. Unless its a stylist choice, don't dutch (tilt) your angle of lens on the tripod, otherwise you are reliant on faster editing.
Judge 3
Positives: Loved the footage of him alone to convey the story. Intersting story structure with the focus on him not making the team. B-roll was great, lots of movement.
Improvements: White balance wasn't correct on some shots. Audio was distorted.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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