Early On - ID# 44

Lyons Township
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

A high school date night is put into perspective in this dramatic short film.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/25 10:39 pm - You had a unique style video! I noticed that your audio levels were not consistent throughout the video which can draw the attention away for your audience. I really liked your idea of the VR concept but I was very confused watching this at first. I think some overlays could have aided with the concept that you were viewing through the lens of the glasses. Overall, this was a very high quality video, strong message, and left me wanting more!
  • 4/25 8:52 am - Unique, and I love that the VR justified the ambitious POV shot as well – making it not just a camera choice. The glitch in the beginning felt unnecessary and like a mistake - I would recommend either allowing your character to talk a moment longer or going right from the cooking to the gymnastics story. The performances and dialogue are outstanding - especially considering it was mainly all in one take. The exposure is just right - dark enough to convey romantic dinner, while still lighting the characters. The sound in the VR scene is professional, but there is a lot of fuzz noise in the bedroom scene. Also, the light on Carmen creates harsh shadows in the bedroom. Having him further away from the wall would help prevent this. Also, the titling in the end for ""Early On"" felt rushed and done with little attention to detail. Overall, this was extremely well done, creative, and packed with excellent performances. The feedback I provided could go a long way in making this a serious contender at festivals."
  • 2/23 12:42 pm - The idea of a semi-locked-down shot is very risky. It is very theatrical and in your case, I'm not convinced it is paying off. Any indication of it being a memory and a flashback might make it visually a little more convincing. I do like the wide two-shot in the bedroom after the girlfriend walks in and we realize the last 3 minutes were a flashback - I love the visual representation of the "distance" between the two people. I also appreciate the fact that you did not use music as a cheap way of creating mood!
Judge 1

Positives: A very timely and interesting film, I really enjoyed the shift to the 'future' self - putting everything we saw in an entirely new light. I also really liked the strong choice to make the flashback effectively a oner shot as a POV - absolutely appropriate for the concept, and tough to pull off well. Overall I felt this film had a strong vision for what it wanted to say, and took a unique route in how it was telling that story. Great work!

Improvements: I think there was some meat left on the bone in terms of how the flashback worked - we had no context for what this was through the film, and instead of a sudden surprise, building in audio cues or some other hints to foreshadow this turn could have been interesting and added suspense. I was also thrown off by the lighting and tenor of the opening scene - the quick cuts felt confusing, and I couldn't place if this girl was in trouble, or why they were talking about being professional athletes in middle school. It felt surreal, but presented in a way that was grounded - which ultimately took away from the final reveal.

Judge 2

Positives: The main actor had great emotion and could tell they prepared their lines. The framing of the shots was pretty good.

Improvements: I understand the POV perspective, but I think it would have been beneficial to see both characters interacting in front of the camera instead of the same shot for 4 minutes. I understand the first part of the story and that he was watching his memories, but it definitely got confusing after the initial conversation.

Judge 3

Positives: First off, I love a good sci-fi twist. The POV camera at the start is so good. I think it works really well. And the first actress is really great to be able to do that long take. The blocking and framing of the blue bedroom scene is lovely, a little extra set design on the wall would help us not get lost in the blank wall space though! The “are you watching your memories again?” is a perfect line. Instead of the guy acting all nervous and shutting it off as soon as the door opens, and her pestering him for what he was doing, it's instead clear that this is a recurring conflict in their relationship. This makes it much more impactful when he lies to her (and we know) and she accepts the lie so quickly.

Improvements: I think the white flash is distracting. I know you don’t want to reveal that this is a memory through tech until later, but it currently feels jarring and more like an editing mistake, rather than what it actually is- a subtle foreshadowing of the tech. I think during the initial memory scene, having a bit more camera action going on could help. Building the world/atmosphere. More head movement, seeing his hands and plate. It would help add a lot of personality and keep viewers engaged. The first few clips of the short film are great examples of this- I was really excited at the first clip, but then we went to a locked down shot. Story Build: The “i love you” moment feels like it comes out of nowhere. If the film had been showing that these characters are clearly in love, maybe through an opening montage of cooking, then, when she says no, it’s gut wrenching for us as a viewer since it’s a 180 of what we’ve been shown.

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Judge 5

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