Dreams Of Paradox - ID# 440
Riverside Brookfield
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
In the world filled with so much confusion, sometimes these paradoxes can only be escaped from in our dreams.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/17 1:48 pm - Strong performances (And therefore direction)! Appears to have an accidental flash frame at 3:20 and some other places. Clever editing with the two versions of the same character in the end. The vignette on the wide shot is dynamic and dreamlike – impressive color grade. Very cool opening titling. Overall, the very wide focal length helps establish a mood and feeling. Something that "Severance" does that could have been worth trying is having a Wide focal length for the "other world" and normal (50-70mm) focal length of "this world," thus creating a visual separation between the two. For instance, at 1:33 – the super wide angle greatly distorts the characters, this would be more effective in the "dream world." Also, at this moment, the exposure is too dark on our characters – either add more lights here or boost the shadows in the color grade. Overall, good use of music and sound effects to elevate your story. In summary, a dynamic and creative short film! Tightening up the visual differences between "this" and "that" world'; fixing the flash frames; and smoothing out some of the camera shake could bring this to the next level.
- 3/13 3:16 pm - Good visual storytelling! I think you could lean into that even more though. The conversation with the friend at school is unnecessary and draws our attention away from the main storyline. Could this work with no dialogue? I don't think any of the dialogue here is adding much to the story. The music choices are great. The mysterious tone of the music tells us that something strange is going on and it convinces us to want to know more. Keeps us invested.
- 2/28 8:23 am - I love the idea - great metaphor. And you did a great job working out the problems of one actor playing himself. But the problems with short films trying to span over longer periods of time are present here. As an audience, I am not sure how many days have passed; there are no costume changes to help me figure this out. The ending leaves me without a resolution - what happened? Did he die in real life? Sound is a little lacking - you are using music to create mood, but you missed the entire world of sound effects and sound design.
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