TAP Water - ID# 46
Lyons Township
Commercial
Entry Description
This is a commercial for TAP Water
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/26 11:16 am - This is a fun piece but I wonder if it would have been a better fit under comedic narrative, or even as a PSA for drinking more water. That being said, you nailed parody and humor, I really appreciate that. This is a tough thing to do, especially for teenagers, so kudos for this accomplishment.
- 3/4 9:54 pm - It's evident from your submission that you've approached this task with a unique and creative perspective, opting for a parody that incorporates humor and cleverness. Crafting a parody requires a keen sense of wit and an understanding of the original content to effectively play on its themes or style in a humorous way. Your ability to create something that is both funny and clever speaks to your creative talents and your capacity for innovative thinking. However, as you've noted, categorizing this work under a commercial narrative rather than a comedic narrative has led to a mismatch with the project's rubric and expectations. It's crucial in any project to align closely with the given guidelines and objectives, especially in a commercial context where the primary goal is often to promote a product or service directly to a target audience. Here are some steps you can take to address this feedback and refine your approach for future projects: Clarify the Objective: Before starting a project, ensure you have a clear understanding of the objective and the criteria against which it will be evaluated. For commercial projects, the focus should typically be on showcasing the product or service, highlighting its benefits, and appealing to the target audience. Align Content with Goals: Once the objective is clear, tailor your content to align with these goals. While humor can be a powerful tool in commercials, ensure that it serves to enhance the message and appeal of the product or service, rather than overshadowing it. Consider Audience Expectations: Think about the expectations of your audience and how they will perceive your content. In a commercial context, the audience is looking for information about the product or service, so it's important to deliver this in a clear and engaging manner.
Judge 1
Positives: Funny alert!! The pharma ad parody has been done a billion times. But when it's done right - it doesn't matter. and this feels right. 1 - Special shoutout to the editing! The pacing feels really nice - the slow push ins, cut to card with the fine print, the b-roll, and all the other elements just build toward a really clean looking spot. 2- The script! This is a dialogue driven spot - and the story elements all work really well - I don't know how you slipped a Flint water joke past the powers that be - but KUDOS!
Improvements: 1 Ok this is a little nit-picky, but even though this is a fake product, I want a more clear understanding of what this product is, and who it's competitors are? I love love love calling the product (or medicine?) "Tap."...and I would to lean into that more, vs saying 'tap water may be right for you' etc etc. 2 I'm struggling to come up with another clear area to improve - So I'll just suggest a build - tack on a lil closing moment where our character takes a drink of water at sunset, or do a spit take almost as a blooper. Ok enough dumb riffs on my part - Great work on this!!
Judge 2
Positives: This is really funny! You nailed the pharmaceutical commercial spoof. The music and editing pairs very well with the look and feel for what you are going for, great job!
Improvements: 0:12 I would adjust the lighting and the shot itself. Your actor has a shadow and I think you can find a more visually pleasing background than the flat wall. The shot at 0:04 (male on the couch) has great lighting and great depth. I would have liked the shot at 0:12 to be more like that. 0:06 similar issue for me. It just feels a little flat and sometimes it can be really hard to light someone who is in front of a flat white / gray wall. I would pull the couch further away from the wall and put the wall out of focus. Testimonial style commercials (or documentary interviews) very often use depth in their shots because it just seems more pleasant to the viewer, for reasons I don't understand!
Judge 3
Positives: Funny! You have a great story and your shots and edits work to tell that story nicely.
Improvements: Sound and lighting were not as polished as other elements but still a good effort.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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