The Card - ID# 505
Homewood-Flossmoor
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
A short film about what greed does to people.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: I love your attention to detail in your scenes and subtle humor. Hiding the SD card where nobody can find it and it's in an Algebra book is perfect. I also really appreciated that you took the time to do a Magic SD Card Wikipedia-style page during your research montage. That adds a level of reality to your story. It was also smart to open with a narration and maintain it as a VO as a through line to keep your story together. Very smart writing. Your stylistic choices were enjoyable and thoughtful as well with how your introduced your characters and gave us a little backstory. It made me feel like I was watching a really juicy reality TV show and I wanted to know more about our two characters in the library and why they fell out. Editing was tight with your split screen phone convo and added a strong element to the narrative. Well done!
Improvements: Your audio needs the biggest improvement here, as your cinematography and editing looked good. Watch out from noise from clothing and hair if you're going to lav an actor. We had some interference in the library scene. Also, we are relying on internal camera mics too much for our VO and scenes. I would have loved to hear the VO as some ADR and had the actors boomed in the opening scene. Your lose some focus on your insert shots so really make sure we are framing inserts tightly so we get all the information we need and we're not too close up to lose focus or know what were' looking at (example: placing the SD card into the book.)
Judge 2
Positives: Nice work! 1) Really nice, creative storytelling that sets it apart! The character stats are great, the threading from present to past tense, really great work. 2) Good directing and performances!
Improvements: 1) Smaller note - but it sounds like you ran into some audio challenges! 2) I was left with questions around the end of the story - the magic item will have a larger impact on the plot if it's clear where it's from, why our characters seek it, etc.
Judge 3
Positives: There were a variety of camera angles and compositions throughout which held the viewers' attention. The addition of graphics was a nice touch and added to the story. Lighting and color was even throughout the piece.
Improvements: The audio could have been improved upon throughout the piece. The music was too loud at points and the dialogue was mono when it needed to be stereo. Also, there was distortion throughout. The narrative and story could have been paced better with quicker cuts and editing techniques.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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