Offsuit - ID# 507
Maine East
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
A man desperate to earn quick money discovers cheating and scandal.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: I enjoyed the card in the beginning setting up the scene so we know what we're getting into. The giant playing card was a hilarious touch which made me think this was going to be a comedy. Your editing was really well done, and it was a smart choice, making this like a black and white grainy film. I didn't mind the handheld camera movement. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it played well with the editing.
Improvements: Your story lacks direction, and the genre is hard to pin down. At times, it is a comedy, and at times, it is a noir. That's fine to do, but we just needed more jokes if that was the case. I would have liked to have seen more 1940s elements present, and more diversity in the kinds of shots and framing you have. Doing the whole thing handheld and not cutting to many close-ups does you a disservice. Your ADR needed to line up better, and I'm not sure if your main character will end up paying his rent or not.
Judge 2
Positives: A period piece!! Well...Sort of! Really great work. 1) There's a lot of cool thinking in applying an older filmic approach, contrasted with contemporary language and characters...specifically - I'm really drawn in by the moment of "if I see you it's on-site" over the old film look. Something about it was really nice. 2) Not sure if this was intentional on your part, or perhaps a production hurdle that needed solving, but the use of ADR also fit well within this world, pulling in perhaps the same practices from an earlier era of film, or perhaps translated Samurai flicks - either way - works really well!
Improvements: 1) What's interesting about the opening text setting up the scene is that it sets up a story that I don't exactly see throughout the film. I suggest in the future, testing the edits by having friends/family watch the film without any setup or preamble, and ask them what made sense, or more importantly, what didn't. 2) So, this is a smaller performance note. What's funny about an old-timer like myself - is that I was taken back to my senior film class project, how fun it was, and because of that, how challenging it was to not laugh or smile in the scene. I think there's something that's sweet about it - but it comes at the cost of taking the viewer out of the story.
Judge 3
Positives: The use of black and white footage created a unique tone for the piece. There was a wide variety of camera shots incorporated into the piece.
Improvements: The audio was not lining up well and it was difficult to discern if it was an intentional effect or not. The storyline jumped around and was difficult to follow.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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