Plain Sight - ID# 509
Shepard High School
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
A mysterious man suddenly appears. His sinister intentions are not what they appear to be. Or are they?
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: This was enjoyable to watch. The lead actor sold the story well and committed to the plot, which sold it. The plot itself was ambitious, and I like that the filmmakers took a creative chance with it. We had some thoughtful camera movement and framing in some scenes, especially going into the dark loading bay in the end-- I enjoyed how that was staged.
Improvements: Dialogue-wise, there's a lot of filler. I think the restaurant scene is a missed opportunity to explore what's really going on in their world with the death that happened and why this character is so scared. Instead, we have a locked-off two-shot begging for some closeups, and all we do is talk about ordering food. Don't waste time with filler dialogue. We have this shady guy sitting at the next table-- I want to know more about him! By the time we get to the shooting, the soundtrack and location sound are far too loud, and we can't understand any of the dialogue very well. Adjust your levels and spend more time on character development, and you'll be well on your way to a great short suspense.
Judge 2
Positives: Nice work!! We love a killer on the loose. 1) story wise - good instinct to set us up with the "sorry lucas" moment, only to have a (double?) twist! 2) Kudos for shooting in multiple scenes, and at night!! Especially difficult to pull off.
Improvements: 1) I think editing wise - there's plenty of fat to trim! What I mean by this is, using the opening scene of our protagonist getting ready as an example, see where you can cut the head and tail of a shot, or lose a couple shots all together to move the story forward more quickly. 2) similar note related to shooting. Production challenges are inevitable! I just pitched a commercial edit to clients, who rightfully pointed out that one of the shots felt 'out of focus'. This was a half million dollar production. it happens no matter what. So, what you need to do is be a problem solver. At the 1:09 mark, there's an out of focus shot of our antagonist. Can we cut that out? do we need it?
Judge 3
Positives: There were multiple filming locations that added a good amount of depth to the story. The pace of shots worked well wth the overall story.
Improvements: Multiple close-up shots were blurry. The could be more balanced, at times the dialogue was quieter than the background noise or music track. Some of the shots were long which impacted the flow of the story.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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