Picking Petals - ID# 500
Shepard High School
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Boy meets Girl. Boy tries to woo girl. A modern fairy tale with a twist.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/23 2:19 pm - You clearly have a knack for cutaways and natural cinematography, there is a lot of beautiful footage. Sound delay in the beginning was jarring. Strange hissing sound throughout. Would strongly recommend cutting that hissing and/or using an equalizer to get rid of it if it is tied to the music track. Having on-set sound of the characters actions and travels could have made a big difference in bringing this to light (but I am almost assuming that this may have been a silent film project for that reason) Camera shake at :57. Great job with the motion of the character and shooting into frame. Impressive detail of the changing seasons – demonstrates very patient and organized film schedule. Very fun detail of the neighbor looking on at the end, but then it ended abruptly with no payoff. Overall, dynamic and compelling short film! The biggest issue with it is the abrupt ending – I want to see what happens after he saves money to purchase the flowers.
- 3/14 10:38 am - Nice editing. It feels very well paced and shows the passage of time without dragging the story out too long. The abrupt ending could be fixed with a fade out and roll credits. Sound should come in earlier, whether it's music or ambience or sound effects. I like how the score has a subtle nod to jingle bells when we see the holiday decorations. It definitely helped to make us believe it's winter, although if this character is going to be shoveling driveways, you might want to avoid filming the ground when there's no snow. I think I am having a hard time believing in these characters though. It seems unlikely that someone would reject/accept another person based on whether they picked flowers on their own or bought them from a store. Why is the main character laughing/smiling after the rejection? Maybe some of those shots needed a second take to get the acting right.
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