Stolen Ties - ID# 502
Deerfield
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
In STOLEN TIES, a wife is investigated by her husband among issues of identity theft and more.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: The twist ending was a nice touch and I like that you took a risk doing a drama. It could have easily gone the comedy route, but you stuck with your genre which can be hard to do. Great job there. The piece was also tonally consistent with the right music choices and I enjoyed the shots at the stable. They were well framed and the editing cut to black at the right point. Solid timing with your editing.
Improvements: Watch your key light shadows and reflections off of doors and tables. Your script could stand to be simplified as well-- are we to gather that the detective was jealous of the husband in a flashback? If so, your editing needs to be clearer that it was a flashback to when they were younger. Your sound also has the gain cranked way up and could stand to be mixed a bit more or you would benefit from ADR in some places.
Judge 2
Positives: Nice work! We love a private eye story. 1) Really well shot and lit! Nice variety in shots and camera movements! 2) Really great directing and performances! It can be tough for actors to play characters that tend to be older - and I think all the character performances camera forward really well, and kept me engaged as a viewer.
Improvements: 1) Edit Pacing wise - I think there's room to trim! Not everywhere, because much of the pacing around dialogue is nice and feels right. But when we get to some of the montage scenes, I think the action can be cut way down, which helps keep the moment of the story! 2) This is totally subjective, but I was a bit hung up at the end story wise. I think its a cool story turn to have Jimmy be the antagonist, but I was left with questions: Was Sarah in cahoots with Jimmy? Does Sarah not know that she's talking to Bobby at the end?
Judge 3
Positives: There were a variety of camera shots that added to the piece. The use of shadows in the final scene added to the tone of the piece.
Improvements: Quicker cuts could have been made for the music montage. The flow could have been improved upon to further clarify the story and hold the attention of the viewer.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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