Cutting Through Fate - ID# 511

Batavia
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

In a world where you know your soulmate is at the end of a string that is literally tied around your finger, what do you do when that string gets cut?

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/23 8:51 am - Your film has a solid story and the visual representation of the bonds between people through animation and composition is impressive. Your script and VO are solid - the area of growth for you is the technical aspects of filmmaking: composition and sound. I would find and hold on to a talented DP who will do justice to your talent as a storyteller.
  • 4/22 11:56 am - Impressive work with the opening having so many characters on scene – this goes a long way. The script and layers of editing techniques and directing of the cast are all superb. The thing holding this back competitively is the issues with focus, camera shakiness, and the lighting/exposure at times. I really want to emphasize that the direction, editing, acting, and script are truly impressive. The running "thread" is so cool and makes this very competitive. Keep up the good work and either study/practice cinematography more to get an edge – or do what professional filmmakers do – partner with a cinematographer! Also of note, there are some issues with sound – pay extra attention to J and L cuts. Overall, really dynamic and thoughtful short! Can't wait to see what else you produce.
  • 3/15 11:27 am - This is a really cool premise, and I like the prologue where we see the main character as a kid and learn where this all started. The voiceover is well written and well performed. I did think the ending could use some more resolution, though. It ended very quickly and I would have liked to see more of this character's reaction to losing the person she thought was a soulmate. Could she have done some self reflection to realize she's okay with being independent and actually enjoys it? This project is well edited and well paced beyond the sort of abrupt ending.
Judge 1

Positives: First of all, the story set-up is very cool, major kudos for choosing such a symbolic and visually-reliant way to represent a feeling. Plus, using a Kindergarten class to explain the world is very fun and instantly makes the world and production feel big. It is a great opening scene. I also applaud the desire to tell a story about something abstract and unique to human nature at a young age.

Improvements: The introductory scenes are very, very strong. But, then we lose it, and the switch to animated strings without explaining that switch is a bit jarring. Since we are building a world with new rules and relying on it to tell our story, it would be helpful to know how often in this world strings get cut. Is this super unusual? If so, it makes sense that any other person with their string cut would be their soulmate instantly. In terms of the messaging of the story, it feels defeatist, which isn't a powerful conclusion. It feels incomplete because the character hasn't yet realized how to heal their inner conflict. So maybe the story isn’t about giving up when people hurt you, but instead learning how to be comfortable with yourself while you feel your string is cut.

Judge 2

Positives: I liked the idea of the string pulling you towards your soulmate. I think the idea of the voiceover worked well throughout the story. I think the casting with the kids also was done well.

Improvements: When framing shots make sure to not fit people completely within the shot, there were times where people were getting cropped out. Also while filming outside and using the audio from the camera to block the wind, you can do this by just having someone stand behind the camera to block the wind so you can hear the dialogue clearly.

Judge 3

Positives: The animated string was excellent. It supported your point. The active lines in the animation gave it life. The motion tracking was effective as well. The message of your story came across. Even though it has been a very long time since I was in high school I was able to recognize and relate to the emotions of your main character.

Improvements: I am a supporter of trying things to see if they work. So here are some suggestions along those lines. Since you have the ability to motion track animation, experiment by pushing that a little more. For example, go to about :43 into your project. The animation you used there accents the feelings of the main character. You can try adding more elements that underline her feelings. Think about a few other instances where something like that could add impact. At about :55, you added an animated heart. That works well. Try that concept in a couple of other places. I would consider trying some larger color shapes at times that would express the feelings of the main character and have the same animation active line animation style as the string. That might be a little much. But it’s worth a simple test to see how it works.

Judge 4

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Judge 5

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