Well, We Tried - ID# 523
Wheaton North
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
4 students try finishing a school project at the last minute. They hope to get an A, but they really end up with disasters and a teacher who doesn’t believe them.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/23 12:00 pm - Strong narrative structure. Cutting back and forth between the scene with the teacher and the scenes with the students works well. The absurdity of events is also fun. Composition is generally strong and the editing is well-paced. There are some abrupt audio moments when the score comes in and out. You made a fun movie with a lot of interesting elements. Keep it up!
- 4/22 2:08 pm - Great job with the concept and the flashbacks, it was totally evident what you were trying to get across. I especially liked the “marching band” bit, that sound design with the loud music over the “screaming dialogue” was really well executed. Some points to work out, your background music feels a bit too dramatic and sometimes, when bouncing between a past and present, you change the music so the present all has one soundtrack and the background all has various music to match the mood and element. One last note, I would have liked to assume the last line she gave him about the disaster didn’t show the kids hurt. I wanted that to be the lie that causes the teacher to give them detention. Then, when she goes back to the room, the audience sees, for the first time, that all that bad stuff actually happened, and maybe there’s even an alien sitting with them. The reveal needs to be for the audience’s sake. Overall, this is a lot of fun. Keep up the great work!
Judge 1
Positives: Very fun film with a great conclusion! I appreciated the subtlety of the twist at the end, as it was not over-indulged.
Improvements: I do wonder why they didn't send in the poor fella with the eyepatch. But logically, I know it was for the sake of the narrative. In any case, great work. Keep making films!
Judge 2
Positives: This project had one of the most original story ideas of all the entries. The idea is funny and a little absurd but always interesting. Excellent acting took this idea into the physical space. Convincing performances.
Improvements: Sound editing was very distracting throughout. Music sections often ended too abruptly. The opening with the cast credits could have been taken out. Didn't seem to serve a purpose other than delaying the action. But overall, I enjoyed the project. I like far you took it. Shows a lot of potential!
Judge 3
Positives: i love the title sequence with each character. it gives me the feel of a 80's/90's teen comedy. the story telling is really strong. i loved the flashbacks while she was explaining their process to the teacher. it felt really cinematic and fun.
Improvements: honestly i don't have a lot of critique outside of a suggestion to use cinematography to add to the comedic moments. i think some wide lens close up shots to characters would be fun, as well as a little bit more "over acting" from the main character telling the story.
Judge 4
Positives: Your use of available lighting int he space you had is great! That and the location, so much of filmmaking is not fighting your locations. Ooo that closeup at 1:29, you have a great contrast ratio (how dark the dark side of the face is compared to the light) which matches the drama of the story. Lighting on the back wall so the actor stands out. Lovely. This goes for your teacher student scene.
Improvements: The sound mixing could be improved, at time the score was too loud, or the dialog was coming out of both channels. Music is a ship, it takes times to steer but when set established the mood.
Judge 5
Positives:
Improvements: