You Can't Move On From Divorce - ID# 54

Maine South
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

Commentary on the consequences of a parents’ divorce through the eyes of a young girl.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/24 11:42 am - Excellent titling, sound design, footage, and creative edit. This is a work of art that is clearly very personal and therefore, I don't have much critical feedback for the actual piece. However, for festivals, I would recommend submitting this under experimental or video essay competitions. It is challenging judging this in the same category as Dramatic Narrative. My one piece of creative feedback is that I am not sure your looks at the camera match the other tone of the film. Your character's presentation of confidence at 2:15 doesn't quite match the turmoil of the narration and the energy of the final sequence. In a greater context, this seems like it could be an amazing ending to a longer, more traditional narrative. Outstanding work.
  • 3/14 11:05 am - The use of a projector to create the setting works so well! Placing photo cutouts over your face while the voiceover talks about being a conglomerate of both parents provides a great illustration. This project showcases some really great cinematography, editing, and VFX skills. Not sure if it's exactly right for the dramatic narrative category, but it is definitely a strong piece.
  • 3/3 11:09 am - Very powerful story and visuals. Your sound design is flawless, as are the shots and editing.
Judge 1

Positives: I mean, yeah, Nicole, you're absolutely killing it. I remember your film last year- it was very powerful and the production quality was really high. But I felt that there were some improvement areas with the story and how you were choosing to convey it. This is a complete evolution up from that. This is bleeding honesty and genuine storytelling. I really like how it isn't just following a linear story structure, but rather feels more like a hybrid of conventional cinema with newer social media storytelling structures. Your attention to detail is special and rare.

Improvements: I invite you to continue finding new storytelling structures and devices to make viewers feel what you've felt before. For example, how can you make the viewer feel tense and ramp up the tension without duplicating audio bites, using visual echo effects, or risers? Another question to consider- how can you get the audience to understand your story without use of any voice over at all? I think these are proven conventions, and they work in your pieces, and i'm not saying to stop using them altogether, but there may be other ways to convey your story through visual formats / narrative devices that could be even more compelling and only bolster audience engagement.

Judge 2

Positives: I really liked the effects you used and the pacing of the story overall. The voiceover worked really well to bring it together with the quick cuts within the editing. I thought it was really unique how you incorporated the wall and layering effects.

Improvements: I think the lighting in the flashback scenes could have been a little more unsaturated to create a sense of mourning. I really liked the film overall, but think at times it almost sounded like more of a PSA with the way the timing worked.

Judge 3

Positives: Very powerful premise and delivery. I am thoroughly impressed and moved by your project. The effects you incorporated worked extremely well in defining some of the pain, confusion, sorrow, and anger the main character was experiencing. The lanterns near the end were amazing and reinforced everything in your movie that came before it. Excellent work! Please consider entering this in other film festivals. People need to see your work.

Improvements: It's a little tough to give specific feedback on what could be improved. However, I can recommend things that you might consider experimenting with to determine the best way of presentation. FOr example, I would try different treatments of the shot at :20. What you have could be just right. But I would also experiment with color, contrast and lighting. If you are using something like Adobe After Effects you can actually add a light(s) to scene.

Judge 4

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Judge 5

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