REDESIGN - ID# 558
Lyons Township
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
REDESIGN is about Caroline's struggle with asserting herself and her ideas in the Yearbook hierarchy. Her self-doubt is her internal struggle, but her frenemy Suzy is the focus of her anxiety.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: You exposition is expertly placed. We learn everything about our characters in under a minute so we can just have fun with Caroline's struggle and grow with her. Love the editing, especially in the opening sequence. It really sets the tone for the piece. I enjoyed your color palate and cinematography. It matched your score well. I got a Charlie Brown influence at the end, whether intentional or not. Good work!
Improvements: Watch your eyelines and music levels under dialogue. The effect on the inner dialogue is effective but we're getting so echo here that is a little distracting.
Judge 2
Positives: Story: A designer takes a leap of faith, dismantling her inner assumptions of a peer, and finds a comfortable landing in respectful communication and shared vision. WEOW. i’ll start with the end, because WOAH those credits!! Come on now!! Everyone pat yourselves on the back --hopefully whoever had that idea didn’t feel too anxious to bring it up to their group :) Overall, I really love the messaging and how it’s expanded upon with the film’s tone. We have this character who’s built this film noir style narrative in her head that’s contrasted with the bubbly upbeat music of her “nemesis.” It feels like I’m watching a moving painting. Especially as Caroline is doused in this cold, blue world, while Suzy is set against a warm, yellow, inviting backdrop.
Improvements: This is a great short! It’s contained, it’s emotionally resonant and relatable, there’s a clear internal struggle, the format echoes the messaging. My only note- and this isn’t a writing note, more direction-based, but the teacher sorta just appears out of nowhere, which makes the scene feel like it’s just dropped in there as a heavy-handed plot motivator. Quick idea is that Caroline barges into the teacher as she’s emotionally unstable and running out the door, causing the teacher to initiate full-on care mode.
Judge 3
Positives: This is an excellent project. The performances from both Caroline and Suzi were exceptional and well-suited to their characters. Caroline, in particular, stood out. The camera work was also outstanding. Each shot felt fresh and thoughtfully composed, with several creative choices that enhanced the storytelling. The intro segment is a great example, especially the use of low-angle and Dutch angle shots. These choices were very creative and added meaningful visual interest to the narrative. The lighting was very effective, and the editing and timing maintained a strong pace without allowing the story to drag. The ending, where Caroline comes to accept that she is capable of contributing creatively within a team was well crafted. The moment where she tunes out Suzi added a nice touch of humor while also clearly illustrating her internal thought process.
Improvements: There is very little to critique here. One suggestion to explore; at the very end, you currently cut directly to the credits. While this works, consider experimenting with a longer audio fade-out combined with a subtle fade on the final shot of Caroline before transitioning to the credits. It would be worth comparing both versions to determine which provides the stronger emotional resolution.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 5
Positives:
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