Petals, Pictures, and Paintings - ID# 561

Lake Forest
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description

EXCERPTS. Two years after a shared loss, Emma and Noah navigate grief, love, and the complexities of moving forward. Through heartfelt moments and deep conversations, they struggle to reconcile their individual dreams and shared past. As Emma considers leaving their small town for a new chapter, their bond is tested, forcing them to confront what they mean to each other and what they’re willing to let go of.

Copyright Info

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/23 8:46 am - The visual representation of the relationship breaking up - the long shot of the dinner table - is impressive. You also switch to single shots while you use two at the beginning. The visual representation of the characters' separation is carefully thought out. That is impressive. Strong performance from the actors, combined with your direction, makes for a solid film.
  • 4/22 11:52 am - Painful in the best ways. Strong combination of montage, voice over, and dramatic dialogue – the scope of this story told in only 5 minutes is incredibly impressive, especially because it doesn't feel rushed. The sound is overall quite strong, but there are a few hiccups – such as the mic being bumped at :13. Impressive direction – especially in regards to performance. Unfortunately, you do break the 180 degree rule at 3:40, be extra careful with that going forward. Sometimes breaking it works, and this nearly does. However, in general, in student short films, judges are almost always going to assume it was an oversight/error and dock you for it. Overall, a professional-style production matched by a moving story and strong performances that cut to the heart of a dramatic romance.
  • 3/15 11:36 am - The actors gave strong performances.You have a great location - that house is so cinematic! Beautiful cinematography. Your shots are well framed. Nice work lighting the night scene. There are a couple of shots when they are arguing in the kitchen where your camera crosses the 180º line. The shots of your two characters have them both looking towards the right side of the frame - next time, make sure they are looking in opposite directions. I did feel sort of disconnected from this story at times though. If it was a little bit more specific rather than trying to be universal, it might feel more real.
Judge 1

Positives: Filming is great, especially any non-locked down shot is very well executed (the tripod shots have great composition too though!). Great colors. Great lighting. Some great composition and focus in here as well. Good locations. The film has a nice aesthetic texture that helps with the tone of the story and bring us into a cohesive world with the characters. There's also some really great acting from your leads. The various scenes also help tell the story of the relationship nicely through place-setting, choosing where to host each scene really helps add to the vibe.

Improvements: It is quite difficult to judge as excerpts in terms of editing and overall story, but with what's shown, the story is a standard one. The film appears to not make any grand attempts to deviate from a story that's been told many times before. This may be due to excerpts, but there’s nothing that attaches us to the characters. I really want to feel for these characters, but we aren't given enough to go off of that allows us to relate to them. I can't get a full-enough picture of who they are to be able to put myself in their shoes and see where their thinking is coming from. It feels unmotivated in terms of its writing, but the visuals are very compelling.

Judge 2

Positives: I like the framing of your shots, that was really well done and I can tell you thought out each one. Each shot also has a purpose which is important. The storyline also made sense throughout and I thought the timing and pacing is done well.

Improvements: The audio sounds a bit uneven throughout the film, make sure when editing to make sure the audio levels are balanced. The lighting is also a bit undersaturated, you could make it a bit brighter to bring it more to life.

Judge 3

Positives: The shot selection is very effective. The color in your exterior shots is very rich, and the shots are nicely composed and reflect the mood you each scene. The editing of your project is well crafted. The pacing of yoru story flows well.

Improvements: Your story centers around a loss. I was able to guess at that. But it's not clear in your story. Defining the specifics of that early in your movie would help define your characters better. There is one statement at about 3 minutes Emma makes the statement "Ever since I heard the news..." But there is nothing about what the news is.

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Judge 5

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