Open Up - ID# 572
Deerfield
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
In order to join an exclusive club, Alexander must reconcile a secret that he never fully processed Now he opens up - and becomes one of the elect.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: Stong storytelling techniques in the breakup scene. You choose your reaction shots well and they feel very natural. I appreciate that your lead takes chances and keeps the acting feeling real. When he delivers the last monologue I really feel it. Also, candlelight is hard to film at times and you do it very well.
Improvements: Examine your story beats. I didn't entirely buy that she was driven insane and the story doesn't need that element to still be dramatic. Your music is great just watch the levels coming in and out of scenes.
Judge 2
Positives: Story: Forced to confront his greatest fear to complete an induction process for membership in an exclusive club, Alexander must challenge his hasty desire for self preservation. Overall: Well-paced, strong storytelling skills, great use of lighting for mood. I like the dentist subversion moments and how it fits tonally into the uncomfortable emotional environment. This is really really great work.
Improvements: Hi friends… putting aside the reductive nature of a breakup leading to suicide, I really enjoyed the strong atmosphere and storytelling style of this piece! What I mean is that in the context of the workings of this story, the sister being upset or somewhat harmed by the friend’s brother’s decision causing a retaliationary rift between the friends is enough motivation for our main character to emotionally decide to not open up again, without going to the death extreme, but I see the structural thinking there, so no worries. --The other emotional moment that stands out to me is the “montage of chaos,” which is great, but lacks a climax, or like- breaking point. Maybe this is a closeup of a whirring blade getting closer and closer to him. Maybe its the dentist saying “you’ll have to open up… not your mouth! Your /mind/” Just some sort of visual punctuation before he gives it all away to sell that emotional tension within him. --I’m also a little confused on the message of the piece. His big learning is to open up and not keep secrets, but in doing so, he gains access to a club where he now has to keep its secrets? A quick idea is maybe after confirming his status with his right-hand raised, we pan to reveal his left hand, fingers-crossed behind his back, he smiles to himself, suggesting that the thing he overcame to get in the club will be the sole thing that brings the club down.
Judge 3
Positives: The story is compelling, and the script is both believable and well-written. I could clearly feel the emotional weight carried by the characters, particularly the girlfriend during the breakup, as well as Alexander’s pain in the scene with her brother. The pacing and editing are effective, with a strong variety of shots that help the story progress in a clear and engaging way.
Improvements: Although the narrative is engaging, I found myself unsure whether the sequence of events is meant to be symbolic of Alexander’s traumatic experience and his process of coming to terms with it, or if it represents a literal situation involving a cult he is joining. Clarifying this distinction would strengthen the overall impact. Consider ways to guide the audience more clearly toward your intended interpretation. Most of the voice tracks are excellent; however, around :44, Alexander’s voice sounds noticeably hollow. Because the rest of the audio is of much higher quality, this moment stands out. I recommend either reshooting that segment or post-syncing the audio so it matches the quality of the rest of the project. One final note: double-check the spelling of “Cinematography” in the end credits.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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