Life Without a Screen - ID# 76
Marist
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A teenager from the 1800s wakes up in 2024, shocked to learn what life has become. However, the real learning is for the teen in 2024.
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/17 2:09 pm - Compelling story and solid performances from the actors. The weakest part in the story is that it feels a bit rushed. It is difficult to judge a less than two-minute short film in a category that includes 5 minute shorts. At :20, cool cerebral transition and switch to color film! However, I would have recommended not having the student on a "Marist" Football field in the 1800s, because that feels very contemporary. I enjoy the use of the soundtrack! Nice use of POV in the dialogue sequence. At 1:11, the shot is out of focus – and unless it's directly tied to the story, I wouldn't recommend showing a camera and tripod in the shot either. Especially after seeing that you have access to a great tripod, I would strongly recommend using it instead of the handheld footage, the shaky camera makes it feel less professional. Also would recommend trying to use manual focus more or paying special attention to autofocus because there are focus issues throughout. While I love the song, it sometimes competes with the dialogue. I'd recommend having the audio peaking between -12 to -6 dbs and then having the music peaking between -35 and -21 dbs so the dialogue is still audible. Overall, very fun short film with an important message – look forward to seeing what you make next year!
- 3/14 8:44 am - It's an interesting premise but could use more pre-production work. The beginning needs to take place in a location without any modern structures or technology for the audience to believe it's 1801. Framing the shot in a way where we don't see the fence, scoreboard, and benches would help you achieve this. Another note on believability - the costuming of your main character is distracting to the audience because we are told he's from 1801, yet we are looking at a kid who is clearly from 2024. Even if authentic 19th century clothing isn't available, it would be a good idea to dress the actor in something plain, without logos and bright colors. The main character seems to have a negative reaction towards phones almost immediately - could you add something where he learns about the dangers of phones before being so against them? He appears to just pop up in the modern world with prior knowledge of smartphone culture and solutions for solving phone addiction.
- 2/28 11:08 am - Great idea, but to pull it off, your main character would have to be in costume. Also, the dialogue would probably sound differently in 1807, right? You wish you spent a little more time storyboarding the idea: the sequence with one of the characters admiring the world around him, for example, needs more close-ups (beauty shots) of his pov to get the idea across. Sound is good, but focus and camera handling need a little more attention (a variety of shots).
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