Greenhouse Care hobby - ID# 83
Geneva
News Package
Entry Description
Meet a woman whose love for flowers bloom at her job
Copyright Info
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: - Great job! I thought you had so many good shots, great sound bites from your interviews too. It's an overall well-told story. - I love that you included some of the natural sound there -- whether it be the music or the fountain. It helps the viewer feel like they are there with you. That's the goal!
Improvements: - While you have a ton of good shots, we're missing more sequences. When the employees are working, you need to get different shots. Start with a wide shot. Medium shot to zoom in a bit more. Then tight shots: their face, their hands, maybe a plant or two. This helps with editing. - Your interview audio doesn't sound as clean as it should. Maybe a microphone issue.
Judge 2
Positives: Very well written. Loved how the narration matched each video clip. Great use of natural sound to drive the piece.
Improvements: -I would've liked to see a reporter stand up as a bridge or as a way to end the pkg. -I would suggest starting stories with characters to make it more personable. For instance, Mary Beth was a great interview subject... if you would've had video of her working you could've started the pkg with that, to personalize the story... then you could tie in how she's a part of a bigger team that work at the greenhouse, etc.
Judge 3
Positives: I really liked the framing of the interview shots with the florists. They followed the rule of threes with the subject in the right third and the remaining two thirds filled with interesting looking plants at multiple distances, creating good depth of field. I love the pleasant mood of this package. It matches what people seek in gardening. The script of poetic, the voiceover calm with b-roll of beautiful plants.
Improvements: Your entry description reads, "Meet a woman whose love for flowers bloom at her job." The package could've been more engaging if you focused more on one woman's story. You got off to the right start with Mary Beth telling how she became florist. Her story could've been explored more fully. How did she come to this florist, more on what she loves about the job, shots of her interacting with customers, Mary Beth's coworkers talking about her, etc. People love to hear a story. Make sure your nat audio doesn't overpower the voiceover.
Judge 4
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Judge 5
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