3rd Place :: Division AA

Troy in Love

Mundelein

Humorous Narrative

Entry Description

Silent film comedy about Troy working up the courage to ask the girl of his dreams out. The challenge of the assignment was to tell the story with no words, but instead advance the story with just the camera.

Judge 1

Positives: Great editing! There were a ton of different shots from all different angles. That really kept me involved in the story. Excellent camera work! I saw a lot of creative shots and some great 1st person stuff. Excellent variety.

Improvements: There was no real ending!! The main character has his conflict, the girl going to the wrong locker. What was the resolution?? I was waiting for the guy who owns the locker to give the girl the note once he saw her name on it and he gets the girl. I like the idea of the silent film, using emotion and expression to get your idea across. Try adding sound effects next time. Thats a great way to put a twist on the silent film. The pen writing, the locker lock being fiddled with, the bell ringing; these are all examples that may keep your viewer more committed to the project.

Judge 2

Positives: Shot selection / coverage was well done which made the edit and overall look of the film stand out. Shot selection on top of editing was a great pairing at the end. Cutting back and forth from the locker to Troy with the inserts of his feet and close-ups on him created nervousness for the audience as well. Good job.

Improvements: Good story and well executed video, though it seems it should be in the drama category??? Music sets a very dramatic tone. Feels like there should have been more at the end. Showing the girl walk away without the letter / showing the guy pull the letter out after she left. The letter is a character in the story without an ending.

Judge 3

Positives: Nice camera work and use of insert shots. Love the pay-off of the wrong locker number reveal. Wish this would have come full circle with the real owner of #1109 reading it and his reaction.

Improvements: Be sure to give the audience a full story. This seemed like a bit of a cliff-hanger. Leave the audience wanting more, not questioning what happened. The use of some sound design to show his heart thumping, time passing, or his overall anxiety may have helped enhance this piece. Sound can be a very impactful tool that can easily, cheaply and effectively amp up the story and connection to character(s).