Gold

Mr. DHS

Deerfield

Humorous Narrative

Entry Description

When Jordan Abosch is crowned "Mr. DHS" in the annual boys talent show at the high school, it goes to his head. In this irreverent and whimsical short film written and directed by Danny Farber, we get an inside look at how quickly fame can arrive and distort an otherwise good kid.

Judge 1

Positives: Great use of extra characters and different locations. Those things can really add energy to a project and it keeps the viewer interested. Strong confidence level by the main character. His enthusiasm kept me engaged and let me believe the story.

Improvements: In editing, try to add crossfades to the audio in between cuts. Even a few frames can help reduce the harsh changes in room tone. If circumstances permit, try and record a few takes of each scene, each with slightly different performances. Then pick your strongest one. But stick to the script! I just noticed a few places where just one more take could have smoothed out a line and enhanced the comedy.

Judge 2

Positives: The approach for the narrative was creative and original. Great choice to make the film a mockumentary in order to tell the narrative. Gave the film a stronger voice and added to the comedic element. Opening the film with a narrator was a strong way to setup your story. It instantly connected the audience with the character and story and set your tone.

Improvements: Story and characters were very strong and well constructed. Just a technical tip. Remember to white balance the camera before shooting so the objects that appear white in person will appear white in camera. The classroom scenes with the whiteboard is specifically where you need to watch.

Judge 3

Positives: Very nice use of multiple locations and cast. It really help to tell your story completely giving the narrative a full well-rounded feel. Production design was very comical and helped enhance the story. So many times people over look set dressing/wardrobe. A story is told with everything that you put into the frame. The crowns on all the pictures told me SO much about the character without a single line of dialogue. Well done.

Improvements: The opening "TV" introduction had some nice shots but the set and lighting distracted from the story telling. Adding some light and perhaps making it look more like a STUDIO may have given it the feel that I think you were going for.