Gold

Jill's Story

Deerfield

Documentary

Entry Description

In a poignant profile of lung cancer patient and Deerfield resident Jill Feldman, Jake Porento introduces us to a brave woman partnering with the school community to raise money to fight cancer on behalf of this year's annual School Chest charity drive.

Judge 1

Positives: 1) Great interview - thorough back story that was well presented with the issue! 2) Nice variety of shots - the piece kept on the moving throughout.

Improvements: 1) It's a little strange to see footage of her talking (from a different interview) over this one. At first the viewer may think the audio is out of sync. 2) Consider your b-roll choices in such a small piece - she's talking about her kids but the shot pans down to the dog, almost longer than we initially see the daughter. The voice over should always be relevant to the picture, especially in such a short piece.

Judge 2

Positives: This is a brilliant piece. Short and to the point is always good. Very well shot and extremely informative. Awesome work. I'm impressed with the interview framing. Thats one of the best interview frames I have seen in the category.

Improvements: I will give you some advanced tips. For future interviews, if you pull the couch she is sitting on about 4 or 5 feet away from the wall and reset your shot, the background will be more out of focus and the subject will really pop in the frame. Also, in the interview frame, it kind of looks like the shelf is the main focus of the interview, you can shift that by doing what I wrote above, and making your subject higher than the shelf. If she was like 2 feet higher and that shelf was just at her shoulder, the shot would have been flawless. Keep up the good work!

Judge 3

Positives: Nice compilation of shots and footage; b-roll, interviews, past footage of the family in charity/awareness videos, etc. Very good closing shot with the balloon send off. It ended your video very nicely. The slow down of some of the clips worked nicely with the music and pace of the story.

Improvements: Perhaps clean up Jill's audio a bit with her stumbles.