Glenbrook South
Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

A short film about about a boy who watches the events of the previous night unfold before his eyes. The events get worse and worse until he realizes that he was having an outer body experience. He awoke that day not in the world of the living, but of the dead.

Judge 1

Positives: some interesting camera work, especially the black and white snow shot. surprised facial expression closeups.

Improvements: too much time spent feeling the walls.

Judge 2

Positives: Good use of black and white and color to set the eerie, otherworldly mood. Good camera work, shot selection and editing.

Improvements: Not sure viewers would reach the same conclusion at the end without the synopsis telling us what happened. Audio was a little uneven, too low in the beginning sequences and too high when the voiceover first begins.

Judge 3

Positives: Story design was very effective. The end narration did a lot to pull the objective of the film together.

Improvements: Some of the scenes (toilet vomit scene) were more graphic than necessary and did not add to the story... A stronger set up at the beginning would have improved the effectiveness of the story. I knew what was coming because I read the narrative. If I had no narrative, it might have taken me a while to determine what was going on.