Silver

Iraq vs Palestine

Bremen

Feature Story

Entry Description

feature news package

Judge 1

Positives: Good use of sound bite from a soldier and someone who could be drafted. Good use of an opening and concluding stand-up. Nice use of map - perhaps an additional map of the Middle East would enhance the story.

Improvements: Be careful with audio levels. After the opening stand-up, the audio level on your track was so low, I could barely hear what you were saying. Be careful with statistical information. You should give credit to the source, ie, "According to ??? Israel and Palestine....." otherwise we don't know where the information came from and we could question its accuracy. Also, I believe you meant the title of your entry to say "Israel vs Palestine." I never heard any mention of Iraq in your story.

Judge 2

Positives: Stand up at the begining cuts right to the heart of a serious issue that does involve the U.S. You get right to the issue immediately and have interviews with active duty soldiers as well as civilians. I am very impressed that a young student would tackle a tough subject that gets very little attention in the main stream press and something that a lot of adults are uneducated about.

Improvements: You should have used graphics to visually reinforce the expenditures the U.S. has spent on wars. You could have used photographs or video of Israel's soldiers in conflict with the Palestinians.(From the Internet they are available) As a journalist you should interview someone pro-Israel and someone pro-Palestine. You talked about U.S. aid to Israel, but we also give aid to Egypt and you need to be fair about aid in the area. By the way the title in the web site says "Iraq vs. Palestine" shouldn't this be Israel vs. Palestine Sound levels dropped significantly during the package, they should remain consistent. Good job on a tough subject.

Judge 3

Positives: The sound bites worked well within the context of the script/narrative. In both cases, one from an actual soldier and one from another student, the issue of defending Israel was covered. The soldier must do as commanded and so his response was incumbent on how his President (the Commander in Chief) decided to use military might. The student's response was based more in keeping with what a young man would do in such a situation.

Improvements: The B-roll coverage could have used graphics to accent the amount of debt the U.S. currently has and the huge commitment made by the U.S.A. to Israel in foreign aid. Also, rather than a US map behind the commentator, a map of the Middle East might have helped create a visual for the area of discussion.