Voices

Tinley Park

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

A young girls struggle becomes a little more bearable with the help of some friends

Judge 1

Positives: 1.The variety of shot angles was a nice touch that allowed the viewer to feel like everything is crumbling like how the main character is struggling to grip with her actions. 2.The music and sound effects blended together well to give an overall sense of intensity and the emotional stakes. Overall the look and sound of the video was handled very well.

Improvements: 1. By showing that someone is in a grave and introduce the dad is abusive in the first minute you know that it is him that's going to end up killed by the end. Perhaps instead of giving that big spoiler away from the start you can build to that climax. 2. I think by slowing down some of the editing and quick cuts you can better understand what was happening. For example was the mom killed by the dad? I had to re-watch to see if that was what happened or not and couldn't quite tell. The quick cuts work for the ending sequence but you need to build to that in the middle. Overall the story could go one or two directions. Be about the main character joking with her friends about killing her dad and finally doing it after he kills her mom. Or it could be about her killing her dad and now she feels guilty over her actions. This video seemed to try to do both (which could be done with more time) but the 5 minute time limit didn't allow it. Perhaps consider making this into a 10 minute short film you guys could add more onto the story!

Judge 2

Positives: The use of voices personified was a good choice. The montage at the end was especially well executed and I would have liked to have seen more of that to convey the character's inner turmoil. The use of sound to reveal her inner state worked well, particularly when contrasted with the image.

Improvements: I would have liked to see older actors for the parent characters for sure. Another option would be to not show them at all, just have us hear the action through the door.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

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