Three's A Mob

Glenbrook South

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

A teen is put in a very dangerous situation regarding his girlfriend, so with the help of his best friend, sets out to do what he thinks is best for her.

Judge 1

Positives: I think your lighting is especially well done. Even the dark scenes in the mafia warehouse have good key lighting on your actors. And much of your technical production is very solid- cinematography, editing, soundtrack- all have flashes of excellence.

Improvements: Unfortunately, most of these elements also have lapses that bring down the overall quality of your film. For example, your use of music and editing when they're going to save Lauren are both slick and funny, but the transition to the next shot is very abrupt and jarring. Much of your film demonstrates excellent sound editing, but the moment when Joey sacrifices himself so the others can escape misses the mark (I feel) both visually and musically. There are also moments when the audio drops out completely. A simple ambient audio bed would smooth those scenes out and make them seem more cohesive. You have a lot of wonderful and polished camera work, but the final conversation between Tyler and Joey is shot on the wrong side of the line, which is a bit baffling. Lots of good work here, but I'd encourage you to sweat the details a bit more. These are all easily fixable issues, but collectively they diminish the impact of your work.

Judge 2

Positives: Love the story, it is firm, funny and does not deviate from the plot at all. This was a very well done short. Great job of breaking the fourth wall at the end of the film, lightens things up and leaves the audience wanting more from these three buddies.

Improvements: This is a great story. It is complex and humorous in storyline. However, the broad comedic acting from our supporting character in the vest could dilutes the genre and turns it into more of a slapstick style. Be sure that your characters are all on board with the nuances you are trying to achieve!

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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