Syd

New Trier

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

A modern take on Chapter 8 of Herman Hesse's "Siddhartha." A young man disillusioned with his life of luxury and excess seeks to escape back to the fulfilling life he once knew.

Judge 1

Positives: The film maker creates with no dialogue a feeling of unrest and quiet menace. This is no small achievement. The first shot of the tracks is gorgeous.

Improvements: Included in the logline is the idea that the young man "escapes back to the fulfilling life he once knew." The film starts with the young man texting or reading from a device. He subtly smiles in this scene. What does he smile about? I don't know what he is experiencing when he looks around the house and at the artwork. Later, at the train tracks tt looked to me like he was considering suicide, but thought better of it. How is this connected to the subtle smile? I am intrigued, but leave with more questions than answers.

Judge 2

Positives: I liked your shots, the were overall very well framed and looked good. Your sound design was fantastic, use of ambient sounds and background noise.

Improvements: Lost me on the story. That could have been cleared up with editing and maybe one or two more plot driving shots.

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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