Prodigal

Waubonsie Valley

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

Short dramatic piece of the thoughts of one man

Judge 1

Positives: This piece is nicely shot. It feels very cinematic. I like the way that the film maker takes his/her time with simple mundane images like putting on shoes, the ball of a foot, stepping through a puddle. The piece takes its time. which is refreshing. Good casting. The narrative isn't clear. Not sure if this is a criticism or just a fact. Im drawn in by the visuals and the mood that is created, but I don't get a deeper understanding of the character and what he's up against. I can feel it, but if someone asked me to explain it, I would be at a loss.

Improvements: The piece relies entirely on narration and it's sometimes difficult to understand. After watching it, I'm not clear if the older man walking is a big brother, uncle, the boy grown. I wonder what it would feel like to pare the narration down by half and let the images do more work.

Judge 2

Positives: DOPE, great story. Top level emotion driven piece. Had me locked in the whole time Your location shots prove to me you went the extra mile to bring authenticity to the short. made us feel what the main character feels

Improvements: Narrator record was the only real weak point of the project. It wasn't crisp enough but still passable. I feel like the dirt on the face of the main character was bit too muchi think you could have blended and faded it a bit more.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: