The Tracks of My Tears

West Chicago

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

Thwarted in his attempts to show love, one student becomes an instrument of vengeance in this dark original drama. But will his jealous rage cost him everything?

Judge 1

Positives: Love how he turned from sad rejected guy into a creeper instantly. Also nice that the jock stole one of his roses. I like how it was unclear what the creeper guy did in the house.

Improvements: I love your taste in music, but it completely overpowered anything happening on screen. Build up your characters before you expect your audience to feel anything for them when things happen. The the cliche ideas from the first draft of a script, and come up with original ways to communicate the same thing with more style and energy.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: