One Day...

Mundelein

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

Charles doesn't always think things through. The story is simple, hopefully the camera work and editing is not.

Judge 1

Positives: Nice camera angles. The edits kept the story flowing.

Improvements: Some uneven lighting left some scenes with too much contrast. The music bed came in a little hot.

Judge 2

Positives: Great way to introduce the two characters in the story. You convey that the one breaking the phone values technology, which is it means so much for him to break his phone and then not have one! Well done with the payoff, an ad for Apple!

Improvements: The dialog seemed forced at times. I don't understand the "fake phone" line. Also, the delivery could be my authentic in the opening scene.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: