The Monitor

Hillcrest

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

The halls of a local high school are in desperate need of some monitoring.

Judge 1

Positives: The sound quality for the tape recorder sounds great! It's very believable and also works well with the sound effects for pushing the play and pause buttons. The shot from inside the locker and inside the bag of hall passes work really well. It puts us more inside of the film (literally) and helps give us a different perspective of our characters.

Improvements: Be careful with your camera continuity and the crossing of the 180 degree line. When you cut between the student council president and the hall monitor after he sits down, the cutting between the over the shoulder shots doesn't work all that well. You have both of their shoulders dirtying the bottom left side of the frame - but since they're sitting across from each other it is more aesthetically pleasing and makes more spacial sense to have the over the shoulder shots facing opposite directions. This also causes problems with the eyelines of the characters because in this scene they are both looking frame left when they should be looking at one another. Watch our for jump cuts - there are countless occasions where you cut between two of the same shots but the characters are in a different position within frame. This is extremely jarring and could easily be fixed by just filming more coverage of the characters which would let you cut from a 2-shot to a closeup rather than just having to cut between the same shot multiple times.

Judge 2

Positives: Excellent character development and dialogue writing. The filmmakers demonstrate exemplary story telling skills, each scene has a purpose and the narrative moves along effectively.

Improvements: The music throughout the 'I am a monitor' montage feels slightly melodramatic after the comical tone of the beginning of the film. Perhaps there might be a better way to wrap up the story to stick with the comedy/detective spoof tone. With such an important prop as the hall pass, it may have been beneficial to see them earlier in the film.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives: Good sound. It was smooth during the video which makes it easier to follow the movie. I like the story and where it is going, and that you hide the outcome until the end, nice twist.

Improvements: Watch the jump cuts in the video. Go wide/medium/ tight to avoid this. You have a couple of edits that could be smoother so that it is not jarring for the viewer.