Will & Fred's Lucky Day

Riverside Brookfield

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

After stealing a hacking program that revels the winning lotto numbers, Will and Fred battle to the death for the ticket.

Judge 1

Positives: The use of voice overs on the close up single shots on the characters to covey their thoughts about each other worked really well to let us know what they were thinking. The music works really well with what's happening on screen and also helps to build the tension of the sequence.

Improvements: A lot of the dialogue felt really unnecessary. A lot of the scenes could have been tightened without the extra back and forth between the character. For example, the gas station sushi lines weren't at all necessary to the story. The montage of all of the different ways of trying to kill each other could have been clearer. The poison made sense, but some of the other tactics could have been visually more direct about what exactly the character was doing and what their motivation was.

Judge 2

Positives: The filmmakers demonstrate effective storytelling through the progression of the narrative. The hook at the end of the film is well conceived and provides for a good gotcha moment.

Improvements: The use of music over the first scene and later in the film is clever, but overpowering. The sexual references throughout the film are humorous but cheap. Comedy can be much more effective without dirty jokes. The static in the audio could be eliminated by mixing the levels better in post, getting microphones closer to action, and using room tone.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives: I liked your GFX of fire. I think it is was a good way to end the story. The concept of having the flash drive hold the numbers was a smart way to use the prop. You doo a good job of establishing their friendship.

Improvements: There are some close up shots that are too close, and when they are you can see the camera shake. Also, watch for lighting. There are parts that are really dark and that makes it tough to see the details of your actors or what you want your viewer to see.